Deceit [การหลอกลวง] (gaan Laawk Luaang) - The end (part 2)

Hi everybody. I hope you all have enjoyed the story so far and I know alot of you are awaiting the very last part of the story. Through my roller-coaster rides of my feelings for the past few weeks, I have finally finished writing the story. I do admit that a few times, I almost broke down and cried when I wrote certain parts of the story - A reflection of my true feelings. I do hope that you all can spend some time reading the story as it is longer than the other parts...

The story comes to an end.......and so is my own little story.....

“Congratulations, you have won the contest. You are going to be a big star, but I meant what I said from the bottom of my heart just now in the make-up room. I think I have fallen in love with you, not because you are pretty on the outside but because of your inner beauty. Such a beautiful lady like you is very rare. I have been holding back all these months about how I felt about you and I gathered my courage to tell you this right now, would you at least give me a chance for us to develop further?” Keith looked at me intensely, hoping for an answer that he wanted to hear.

“I told you I am seeing somebody else , didn’t I?” my lies through my teeth did not seem to convince Keith.

“You are lying. You are not seeing anybody. You are bluffing yourself. Tassa, you can deceive all those around you, but you cannot deceive yourself. I want the best for you, please, I really love you and I want to be together with you, is that what you want to hear so that I can convince you how true I am to you?” Keith was almost shouting as he could not believe what he heard.

“I am now going to be a superstar soon, I don’t have time for you. Even if we are together, we would not be happy together at the end. You are just a guitarist in the band, you are not fit for me,” my scorns at him hurt me deeply as I did not mean it but I wanted to provoke him and discouraged him to drop his idea.

“Tassa, I know you are not such a person. You know it deep inside you. Go ahead and deceive yourself all your life. Deceive all you want, but you would never be happy with what you have achieved,” Keith yelled at me defiantly for the first time.

I turned around not facing him as I could hear footsteps fading away from me. When I realised that Keith was out of sight, I went to the chair of the make-up room and cried. Why am I deceiving myself? Why am I doing this to myself even though I liked him too?

“I was looking all over for you. It’s time to go, what happened?” Mr. Thaphorn’s concerned voice suddenly woke me up as I tried to brush my tears aside as fast as I could.

“Nothing, really,” I did not know what to say.

Mr. Thaphorn fetched me and my mother to his home. As my mother and I sat with Mr. Thaphorn in the living room, there was an awkward silence.

“I would want to propose to your daughter and I want to give the both of you each a comfortable life,” Mr. Thaphorn’s words shocked me as I almost dropped my glass of water.
My mother gave a curious look at me as I stared at Mr. Thaphorn in blank space.

“I would be happy for my daughter’s choice,” my mother took her time to decide on what to tell Mr. Thaphorn.

I felt cornered as Mr. Thaphorn gave my mother the impression that he was the Mr. Nice Guy, but I would not forget that he deceived me once although I might have forgiven him. He knew that I would not be telling my mother that he made me his mistress before.

“I would think about it,” my tone projected out no emotions.

“Mr Thaphorn is a very nice person, he gave me an accommodation to stay in a nice hotel and he told me that he offered you free accommodation in his home when you were in Singapore. I think…”I put my hand up to interrupt my mother when we were on a taxi back to the hotel where my mother stayed.

“I know you mean well for me, mother. It’s been a long time since we spent time together. I was thinking that since papa had passed away, we can move together to an apartment in Singapore. I want to keep you company and not leave you alone in the village,” my proposal seemed to make my mother deep in her thoughts.

“I really want to, but after spending nearly 50 years in Thailand. This is a new environment that I must get used to. I would miss the village and our neighbours if I do come to Singapore to stay permanently,” my mother turned her head away from me as she seemed to be looking at a specific direction.

Time passed very fast as mother and daughter spent quality time together for four days before my mother went back to Thailand. It was still open-ended to whether my mother wanted to stay with me. Arthit was kind enough to make sure that my mother would be taken care of back in the village and I was more than grateful towards him. It was a pity that he had to go to Malaysia for a short business trip and he had to miss one of the most important days of my life. I would spend another two more weeks before my contract would officially end and that I would be moving over to the record company to start afresh.

It was refreshing to come back to the old environment of my workplace after such a long while. It was a Tuesday night and it was normally two-thirds full. When I came up to perform, it was not only full but there were a lot of people standing around at the fringes of the pub. Apparently, my popularity had risen tremendously after my big win in a singing competition.

“Thank you everybody for your support. I want to announce that my last day in this place would be next Saturday but occasionally I would make an appearance in this place and I hope that you would support us continuously,” I stood in between two female singers who came in two months ago to cover for me while I was busy with the rehearsals.

As I finished my first part of my performance, I went around talking to the customers as they shook hands with me to congratulate me.

“Hi, Congratulations to you,” a hand came out from nowhere offering a handshake from the next table.

The hand belonged to Mr. Ng. I excused myself and returned the handshake.

“How have you been?” Mr. Ng’s question seemed to be rather common.

“I am doing fine,” my reply seemed be almost mechanical and automatic to the question itself.

“The orchids are growing much more beautiful than before. I really hoped that you can take a look at it,” Mr. Ng’s words reminded me of the past when we had an intimate moment at his home.

“When can I ask you out for dinner again? You seemed to be always busy,” Mr. Ng’s request reminded me that I had ignored it once.

“I am not sure. I think it’s very hard for us to meet outside my workplace,” I did not look at Mr. Ng in the eye when I blurted out the statement.

I could feel an air of disappointment from Mr. Ng. He did not say anything except to empty his glass in seconds.

“Is it because of what I said that day that hurt you? You know I like you so much and I look forward to looking at you,” he started to speak with intermediate pauses after he gulped down his drink. I felt the tension increasing with his words.

“No it’s not that, I really cannot meet you outside the workplace. Sorry,” I tried to apologise as sincerely as I can. Apparently, it did not seem to work.

“I really want to take good care of you, and love you whole-heartedly. Although I don’t know you that long, I just have that kind of feeling,” Mr. Ng’s true feelings seemed to reveal whether is it out of desperation or out of sincerity I was not sure.

“I have to go now, I got to perform now,” my excuse was made clear to him as I turned to the direction of the stage.

As I finished the performance, I packed up to leave as I headed home. As I was about to leave home, Mr. Ng was in front of me.

“Can I send you home? I just want to talk to you,” Mr. Ng requested.

“Someone else would be sending me home,” I tried to refuse his request politely.

“Where is he? I don’t see anybody coming to fetch you. Please let me talk to you for a while on the way to your home,” Mr. Ng begged again as he grabbed my arm.

“He would be coming soon, let go of me,” I tried to free myself away from his grasp.

“I am sorry for that time when I scolded you. I really did not mean it. I was drunk when I said those words to you,” instead of letting go, his grip on my arm was tighter.

“You are drunk!” I mustered all my strength and broke free of him as I gave him a tight slap.

“Don’t make a scene here. Mr. Ng, you have crossed the line,” I ran away as I did not take notice his reaction and did not dare to look back.

As I saw Mr. Thaphorn’s car on the other side, I heaved a sign of temporarily relief.

“What happened? You seemed to be frantic,” Mr. Thaphorn looked concern as I got into the car.

“Nothing,” I smiled at him faintly.

When I reached Mr. Thaphorn’s place, I went to retire to my room. As I was about to take a shower, Mr. Thaphorn looked at me seriously as he wanted to tell me something important.

“Tassa, you have stayed here for quite some time already, I believed that after next week you would not be working in my pub, I would miss you in my workplace. Have you considered my proposal?” Mr. Thaphorn’s words did not seem to make a nice conclusion for the night.

“I cannot decide now, can you give me some time? I am very tired,” I was being honest to him for a rare occasion.

“No you can’t. You either agree to be my wife, or you leave by this evening, I give you time to pack your bags,” Mr. Thaphorn’s words came like a thousand knives piercing me everywhere.

“I have helped you made your pub make a lot of money. You deceived me to be your mistress for months. Now that you know I am about to leave your pub, this is how you are going to treat me? If that’s what you want, FINE! I shall not agree to be your wife and you would not see me anymore after five this evening,” I was very upset as one bad incident led to another.

I was lucky that through the record company, I was able to find a place on my own to stay. Soon, it was my last day of work and I managed to get the full amount of money agreed on the contract from an unwilling Mr. Thaphorn.


As I was about to step out of the record company’s grounds after work, Keith was standing just a few metres away from me.

“What do you want?” I did not bother to greet him.

“I knew you were lying. You are not seeing anybody. Not Mr. Thaphorn or anybody else. Don’t deny, I can see it in my own eyes. I am not a fool. Why must you lie to me? You know that we do like each other in a way,” his statement seemed to have overwhelmed me that I felt a tear oozing out of my right eye.

“Stop hurting me, would you?” the tall walls of ice that inhibited me from telling him my true feelings seemed to start to melt.

“You must have your difficulties to hide from me, I know it. I want to help you. All along when I first knew you, I was there for you. I knew all along what you have been through. Be fair to yourself, Tassa,” I rushed to a corner as he chased after me while he was talking to me.

I leaned against the wall as the thoughts went through my mind. I definitely would not want Mr. Ng even though he is a nice person. Slapping him was the last straw for him to even want to talk to me again. I have rejected Mr. Thaphorn’s proposal and he kicked me out of the home.

“I came to Singapore to just look for a better life so that after a few months later, I can go home and my family can have a more comfortable life. Little did I know that so many things had happened to me. I was almost raped by Mr. Lee. I was deceived by Mr. Thaphorn to be his mistress. Now that I have achieved success, I feel that I have achieved nothing, I don’t know why I feel that way,” I subconsciously confessed to him.

“It’s ok, Tassa. I know that you have been through a lot over this period, let me help you ok?” Keith’s concerned tone did not really make me feel better.

As our casual outings together amidst our busy schedule were short, we enjoyed each other’s company very much. Our casual outings became more and more romantic as we began to be closer to each other.

“The view from your ceiling window is very beautiful. We are lucky to have a starry night,” I commented as I looked up lying on the bed.
“Everyday, I would look up to the sky wondering what would you be doing at that moment, hoping the sky can tell me the answer,” Keith smiled foolishly as he was looking at the same direction as I do.

As we turned to look at each other, it was spontaneous and synchronous. We smiled at each other with a common understanding knowing what the other party is thinking.

As Keith slowly turned himself towards me and went on top of me, I breathed heavily. I did not expect him to do that but I did not resist. I felt an air of anticipation of what he would be doing next. As Keith’s lips were near mine, I could tell what he wanted. I could feel his face flushed red as I could somehow feel the heat from his face. Without thinking, I took his head and kissed his lips as passionate as possible.

As we kissed each other deeply, it was beyond words to how to describe this kiss. As his touches on me were so slow and detailed, I felt that my love for him seemed to have run deep into my veins and made my body shiver as my nerves tingled.

As we caressed each other, I could not find the slightest reason or logic as I slowly slipped off my dress in front of him. Keith just looked intensely into my eyes even though I was almost bare.

“Your eyes are so beautiful that I just could not stop looking at it. It’s something which I could not stop looking at,” Keith whispered.

His whispers seemed to be a drug which made me go into my subconsciousness as I kissed him everywhere and I slowly licked his bare flesh as I slowly unbuttoned his shirt. I felt the need to satisfy him, the need to turn that moment of his love for me to lust.

My gentle seduction turned a little more aggressive as we were only left with our underwear. As I sang a short verse of the lyrics of a song and danced in front of him, his look on my eyes were intense but it was slowly diverted to my assets which I felt appreciated.

Suddenly he got up from where he was and he pushed me to bed, as I felt that his male instincts came like an adrenaline rush. As he removed the remaining of cloth on me and his own, he just made love to me immediately. It was raw passion that I could not describe. He was the first man that I truly loved deep inside me that I was copulating with. As I felt different level of highness, I felt like all my worries and troubles were melted away in the river of affection for each other.

“My dear, I cannot continue, I do not want to make you pregnant,” Keith’s logical senses seemed to throw in front of me as his breath was very heavy as he tried to speak.

Instead of killing the mood, his words somehow made me feel more attracted to him. His consideration for me from the start when I knew him was relentless even till this stage. I hugged his bare body tightly as I looked at his eyes once again.

“I need you, don’t stop….please,” I looked at his eyes intensely as I knew my eyes would seduce him and erase that thought.

Although I felt that Keith seemed to be hesitant, his male instincts got the better of him as I could feel that the peak at that moment was coming and I held him tightly.

As I felt him reaching to the height of the moment, I felt it spontaneously too on myself. That moment was truly magical. As we hugged each other tightly for ten minutes, I felt so loved by this man that I would want to bear a child for him and start a family with him.

“I would be responsible for what I have done,” Keith finally broke the silence.

“Keep quiet, silly boy,” I used my finger and poked at his forehead.

2 months later,

“Hi doctor, may I know what are the results?” I was concerned as I was anxious about what had happened to me recently.

“Congratulations. You are expecting,” the doctor’s words came as I had mixed feelings.

As I was only starting my career, I did not know if I was able to cope with my expectancy. Although I felt that my wish came true that I could have a child with Keith, I would need to know that I have to juggle my career with my family very well.

As I tried to call Keith, I could not reach to him. It was weird as normally at that time of the day, he would be going to work. I shrugged off the thought that nothing would happen to him as he could be riding on the way to work.

After I finished my work, I was increasingly getting more tired easily. I broke the news to the record company thinking that I would have disappointed the directors. Even though they felt that it might have hampered the progress of the release of the album, I was very glad that they fully supported me as they told me that my first release of my album and photoshoot for the album would be after my pregnancy.

I tried to call Keith again but I could not contact him. I was starting to get worried. As I went home to watch the evening news, my jaw dropped as I realised that Keith was involved in a nasty accident on the road earlier on in the day and he had died on the spot.

My mind was in a mess as I felt torrents of tears pouring down my face. I did not know what to do as I was frantic. I scrolled down the list and managed to get Gary, who was Keith’s colleague.

“Hi Gary, Keith is dead,” I struggled to talk as my tears went into my mouth. My words were almost inaudible.

“Thank god you called. You had better come down to the mortuary. I would give you the address now. I did not have your number and I could not access Keith’s mobile phone,” Gary gave me the details and I immediately flew off.

At the mortuary, I went to see him. The sight of him lying motionless made me crumble down to the floor and cry. I could not bear to look again. The pain was unbearable as I wanted to break the news to him that I was expecting and that he promised that he would marry me.

“Hi, are you Keith’s gf?” Keith’s dad spoke.

“Yes,” I could only say a word as I burrowed my head, squatting down on the floor and leaning against the wall.

“I managed to claim his belongings from the staff and I think that you should have this. I am sorry that you have lost your boy friend and I am equally hurt too that I have lost my only son too,” he was surprisingly calm and strong as he spoke to me.

As I looked up, I had cried so much that my eyes were blurred and I could only make out the outline of a red box. I took it feebly and put it close to me. I opened it and saw a very beautiful diamond ring.

As I lifted up the diamond ring, a slip of paper slipped out of nowhere. I took it and read it.

“Tassa, I want you to be my wife. I want us to be happy together, forever.”

My tears were flowing but it was no longer flowing out of my eyes but inside my heart. I took the diamond ring with care as I wore it on my finger……….


8 years later.

“Hello, do you still remember me?” a familiar voice came from the right.

“Hi. It’s you,” I looked at Mr. Ng. His features did not change much as compared to when I first knew him except that he had a few wrinkles on his face.

“Is that your child? She is really beautiful. How old is she?” Mr. Ng squatted down as he looked at my child.

“She is 8 years old now,” I smiled as he was teasing my child.

“I really loved your albums. Each of your albums is so successful that they went double platinum. I guess you must have really put in a lot of hard work. Whenever you have a new release, I would always buy them and listen to them everyday. When I hear the songs that you sang in the competition and in the pub you used to work at, I would always remember the good times many years ago. It is a pity now that you have retired,” Mr. Ng seemed to be looking up in the air blaring out his thoughts unknowingly.

“Where is your husband?” Mr. Ng seemed to have his clouds of thoughts erased in the air as he queried.

“He passed away eight years ago,” I tried to smile as I recalled how Keith passed away although he was not officially my husband.

“I am sorry to hear that,” Mr. Ng put his hand on my right shoulder trying in anyway to comfort me.

“Ever since the slap you did to me, I never saw you again till now. It was my fault, I shouldn’t have tried to pester you that night,” Mr. Ng’s flash back of that event seemed to be very fresh in his mind.

“It’s alright, Mr. Ng. It had happened so many years ago. Are you married or seeing someone now?” I put forward a similar question to him.

“I was. But I am not now. My wife divorced me two years ago. It could be the purple orchids I grew in the garden. She preferred some other flowers,” Mr. Ng made a small giggle making me wonder if he was trying to make a joke or trying to pass to me a hint.

“Here is the name card. You need not have to call me Mr. Ng. Call me Leo would do. I am not your customer in the pub anymore. Don’t need to be too formal,” Mr. Ng passed me his name card as I took it reluctantly.

“I got to go now, I hope you would call me and perhaps we can have dinner. I wonder how many times I must request from you to have a meal with me before you would even accept.” Mr. Ng’s past memories of our conversation seemed to be remarkable.

“I did not reject you outright,” I was trying to scrabble for the right words to say.

As we separated and walked in different directions, I walked towards the rubbish bin and contemplated to throw the name card away.

“Mummy mummy, why are you throwing away the card?” my child’s voice from below yelled to seek attention.

“I think he is a nice man. Mummy, have you known each other for very long? I want to eat dinner with Uncle Leo too,” her innocence amused me as I smiled at her.

“He is a very busy man. I would try to see if he can make it one day then I would bring you out to eat together with him ok?” I replied making sure she understood.

As I grabbed my daughter’s hand firmly, we strolled down the streets and I put the name card in the pocket. I thought to myself that this man never gave up after so long. I shook my head slowly as I smiled to myself. It was not just a smile but it was from the bottom of my heart…..

Thank you for your support of this story. In the mean time, I would post up my earlier works up as I would be busy with my work for the time being and hopefully I would be able to pen a new story during June. Thanks once again....