Alone….Maybe not. (part 7)

HI everybody,

Sorry for the delay. I was busy with work so I was not able to write part 7 so fast. Well, its time to roll it out then!

The story reaches to another level...

“I have something to tell you, but I do not know if it’s the right time,” I smiled at him as I outlined his cheeks with my fingers.

It seemed to be on purpose to what he had mentioned something similar quite some time ago.

“I would like to say yes to what you had told me the last time popped the question towards me,” my words were trying to hint indirectly to Kenneth that we can start a relationship.

Kenneth did not say a word as he hugged me tightly.

“Hello, Darling,” Kenneth’s short sentence seemed to cause a stir in my emotions.

“Hello my dear,” my reply was brief too as my mind was blank, not knowing what else to say.

We seemed to be like two people lost in the sea of emotions not knowing what to do as a couple. As our heads neared each other, I did not know why I started to pant. It was as if I was about to engage my first kiss with him. The anticipation of what was going to happen next seemed to give me a tingling nervous feeling down my spine. As our moist lips had the slightest touch on each other, our kiss became instantly passionate and deep. We did not care if there were other passers-by who would be looking into the vehicle but we just felt we were in our own world; a world with just the two of us.

As our lips finally parted, I panted a little. I did not know why but the feeling of being close to him is different from last time. I felt that I have a sense of belonging in his heart. I felt that at least a portion of the puzzle had been solved in my mind. It was definitely beyond words that I could describe how I felt at that point of time.

“I do not know Andy would react to it if he finds out about this,” my words seemed to have come from the first logical thought that came in my mind in the evening.

“I believe Andy would understand and he would support us,” Kenneth seemed to be optimistic.

“What about your parents? Do you think they would accept me?” I seemed to be thinking too far ahead for we had only just started the relationship.

“Let’s take it one step at a time. I believe that my parents would be fine with our relationship and give us their blessings too,” Kenneth’s optimism seemed to drop a notch or two but he hid it very well.

“I would need to go upstairs now, I would meet you soon,” I looked at the watch and realised it was late.

As I went into my room, I heard a knock on the door.

“Yes , my dear son. You want to talk to me? Have you finished your homework,” I patted his head as he approached me.

“Mr. Kenneth is a very nice person. Since he is single, you can consider him to be your boyfriend? Then I can see him everyday when he comes over and I can talk to him. He teaches me very well and I enjoy talking to him!” Andy’s words with a dash of innocence seemed to have strung in me that I had not told him the extent of the relationship that Kenneth and I were having.

“Andy, be a good boy ok? Listen to mummy’s words. Go back to your room and sleep. It’s late. Tomorrow you still have to go to school in the morning. Don’t expect me to wake you up in the morning again,” I smiled sweetly not only to him but to myself as I tried to avoid his question.

As I put the pillow upright against the headboard of my bed, I started to think to myself about how events unfolded at such a fast pace in recent months. As my phone short message service alert came, I looked at the phone. It was from Kenneth.

“I would need to go to Taiwan for a week with my parents. My grandparents are residing there and I would need to leave tomorrow to see them with my parents. It’s pretty urgent. I miss you, Darling. I would come back as soon as I can to meet you,” the long message read.

“Have a safe trip ahead. I miss you too, my dear,” I typed and sent the message.

It’s only a week, I thought. It would pass very fast and I would get to see him again. With my thoughts wandering about other miscellaneous matters, I subconsciously fell asleep.

As the days past, it felt increasingly difficult as I did not know why I needed his presence badly. The short messages that were exchanged came every few hours. There were at times when I was distracted at work that Jocelyn who was sitting beside me had to “wake” me up so that I could get my thoughts back on track to work.

It had been a week. I did not receive any messages from Kenneth for the past two days even though I had sent him multiple short messages. I was worried that something could have happened and I prayed hard that everything was fine. It was at that moment that I realised how important Kenneth was in my life.

It was a Tuesday night. It was a rare moment when I had dinner and a few drinks with my ex-classmates. On that night, I had forgotten totally about Kenneth. As I walked towards my apartment, I was a little drunk and I attempted to open the padlock to the door as I stabbed about almost every key into the keyhole not bothering about which key it was. As my frustrations of trying not to unlock the door ease when the right key was finally inside it, a pair of arms suddenly was put around my waist. I was shocked at first but when I turned around, I was very elated to see Kenneth.

“I miss you so much Darling,” Kenneth’s voice was hardly audible as if afraid that anybody else would hear when I turned around.

“I have a small gift from you from Taiwan,” Kenneth passed to me a small bag which was very light.

Without much further delay, I opened the bag and took out the bra. It was a black lace demi cup bra. I looked at it in amusement as it was the first time a male bought for me a piece of lingerie.

“I saw some models in Taiwan wearing it. It’s a promotion I think at the shopping mall and I kind of thought that you would look good in it and had a bit of help for your size. I hope I was correct,” he stammered a little as he paused to consolidate his thoughts and his words made me feel a bit embarrassed.

With my cheeks still red with embarrassment, I laughed at him in a harmless innocent manner.

“You are so adorable right now,” his statement was punctuated with a kiss on my lips.

“Let me go inside the home first to see if Andy is asleep,” I looked at the watch and it was already nearly midnight. I just wanted to confirm that he was asleep.

His bedroom door was locked and I knocked a few times. There was no answer.

“Come in,” I whispered to him as I went back to the main door.

“Why don’t you try it on and see if my present fits you?” his question shot out upon closing the bedroom door behind him.

“Why don’t you help me to see if it fits me,” my cheeky reply was greeted with a small chuckle on his end.

As I took deep breaths in anticipation of what would happen next, I started to quiver a little as he started to unbutton my blouse. As he took it off, I turned around and my back was facing him.

“Unbuckle it,” my whisper was barely audible and I could feel his fingers slowly unhooking my bra.

As I wore my new bra and adjusted it, it fit snug around my curves perfectly.

“Thank you for your present,” I admired myself at the mirror on my right hand side.

“You really have a nice cleavage and your curves are enhanced by the design of the bra,” his comments seemed serious as he looked at my chest which made me laugh.

“You sound like a professional when you say that,” my sentence was disrupted by short burst of laughter.

As I turned around to face him, his serious look made me stop laughing. As his kisses were gentle on my forehead to my cheeks, they became to become more intense and passionate when they reached to my neck. I held his shirt by the side of his arms as his kisses on my cleavage were sensual and seemed to send electric pulses to my spine as I shivered a little, having a sense of nervousness and the release of tension seemed to be slowly oozing out of my body.

As they became more intense and I could feel that his lust for me was projected out through his kisses, I became a bit more aggressive as I unbuttoned his shirt. I could feel my female hormones starting to rage a little. As I almost literally pulled off his shirt, my hands trembled a little as I held on to his jeans and his bare torso was on mine. The only piece of cloth which separated our skin to skin contact in certain areas was his present.

“I miss you so much,” his voice was quavering as he was breathing heavily, his hands unzipping my skirt.

As our mouths were engaged to each other, our hands were caressing each other. As our lips parted, our hands were on each other’s clothing, desperately trying to remove it. As we struggled a little, my skirt, his jeans and our underwear except for my bra were thrown all over the floor randomly. As we hugged each other, our kisses were deep as our tongues were deep into each other’s mouth. I was very aroused as his fingers were rubbing near my private area and I in turn did the same to him.

As he pushed me down gently on the bed, he lay on top of me and his domination on me turned a few notches up to my arousal. As his hands pinned my hands down on the bed, my legs were spread out automatically in front of him and I could feel the penetration from him in me. I really missed having sex with him. It was not only a concoction of love and lust but also an alternation between passion and mutual understanding.

He was very vigorous and aggressive and I felt very sexy with just my bra on and one of the straps slipped off my shoulder during our love making session. His hands paid full attention to my breasts as my head turned to one side and my eyes closed, my soft moans of pleasure came out naturally.

I could see that his aggression increasing slowly as my moans became louder. My milk jugs bounced a little in rhythm while we were making love. His stares at them were obvious as he was enjoying what he was looking at making me feel good that I was very attractive in his eyes.

As my legs were wide apart, I slowly place them closer together. His legs slowly shifted outwards and soon my legs were as close together as possible. I could feel through my body that he was enjoying it more. I knew that by doing that, I could raise the level of pleasure for him to another level.

As his eyes shifted to mine, his intense look at my eyes were a familiar one. Without taking off any eye contact, I slowly took off the bra and put it beside me on the bed.

“Go all the way for me,” I tried to utter my words out in between my pants as I held his body close to mine.

His body language seemed to hesitate but I held his bottom firmly, pressing him deeper into me. That night I knew I was in the fertile period, I did not know why but I loved him so much that I just wanted him to give me his all, not caring about the consequences.

As I felt his climax, I grabbed his bottom tightly not wanting him to even withdraw a little and I could not help but reach to my peak too. As we held tightly to each other for a few minutes, the silence was a deafening one as no words could describe how we felt for each other.

“It feels so special for it’s the first time we made love as a couple. I do not know why but it feels different this time,” I initiated in breaking the silence.

As he lied on the bed, he smiled and did not utter a word as if agreeing to what I had said. As I rested myself on top of him, the warmth of his body made me feel sleepy. As we lay our exhausted bodies to rest, we gradually fell asleep, not saying another word…..

-the end-

I hope you all enjoy reading, Would part 8 be the concluding part? Watch out for part 8 soon!

Alone….Maybe not. (part 6)

Hi sorry for the long delay. Work is really "killing" me these few days....and I really had no time to write, but here it is now finally part 6.. I wrote half of it in a mode which was purely subconscious. I I reached to a spot where at one point I was very into the shoes of the protagonist. I felt so wonderful to be able to fit into her shoes.......

The wait stops here...

“I have something to ask you, but I know it is not the right time,” Kenneth seemed to stutter a bit when he spoke that.

“I would want to be your boyfriend. I want to take care of you and care for you and your son too,” Kenneth seemed to shoot out the words at one go and I could not catch it at once until when I recalled the words that he said in my head.

“I would give you some time to consider what I have just mentioned to you,” Kenneth spoke in a slower manner, without giving me any time to react to it.

“I do not know what to say seriously, but right now, I just want to be alone,” my mind seemed to wandering elsewhere with the subconscious spurting out of words without me knowing it.

As I put down the phone without saying a good bye, I seemed to be in a loss of what to do. As I looked at the photos with my mother and me, I lied down on the bed and I closed my eyes. I was immersed into the deep ocean of thought or perhaps into a realm of dreams…..

“Clara, Why are you so late? Are you hanging out with him again?” my mother was at the door as she looked at the watch anxiously.

I did not expect her to be waiting at the door. I thought my whole family was fast asleep and I could try my luck sneaking into my room and perhaps call Steve but I knew that it would not be possible for tonight.

Knowing the soft nature of my mother, I knew that I would get away with it if my father was not at home. Sometimes he would come home later than I do. I prayed hard that he was not sitting at the sofa when I came in.

“Clara! Why do you come home so late again? Giving your body cheaply to another man again? ” my father’s yelling with a generous amount of spitefulness in his voice.

“He is not just another man, he is my….” I retorted back in sheer defiance which was interrupted by a tight slap by him which I strangely did not feel any pain at all.

“Clara, you better listen up. Since you like to be with him, stay with him then. We do not welcome whores or sluts in this home,” my father roared with ferocious malice, his thin wizened face seemed to distort with every word that came out of his mouth.

Things seemed to fast forward very fast and all of a sudden, I was with Steve in his bedroom.

“Clara, I want it,” Steve plunged his lips into mine as he started to pull off my pants and lifted up my tee shirt. His voice was barely audible.

“No, I am not ready for it,” I tried to communicate my words out but in the end no words seemed to be coming out of my mouth.

“Clara, you are so attractive and pretty. Don’t you love me? If you love me, we should make love. I really love you a lot,” I could not hear what he said but I could lip read from his mouth very clearly as he remove my tee shirt and stripped my bra and panties off my body.

It was blurry as I could feel myself naked in front of him as Steve removed his clothes at a faster pace upon seeing my naked form. As he pushed me to his bed, I could feel him on top of me. As I was young and innocent, his sweet words made me give my virginity to him. It was not enjoyable at first but when I felt more comfortable, I could feel the pleasure that he had given to me. Although it was so surreal, it was a wonderful experience that I had with him.

It was strange when I slept soundly beside him and the next moment, I was going towards my door. It seemed like it was morning as there were people around me walking around as if preparing to go to school or work. I realised that I was hardly wearing anything and I covered myself as much as possible with my hands, but yet the people around me don’t seem to notice me or even look at me. I seemed to be self-conscious of myself as I quickly ran home.

“Clara, you are not allowed in this home anymore. These are two suitcases for you to bring to your new home,” the notice on the door read.

Thinking that I would need to get my clothes from the suitcase to cover myself, I was shocked when I saw one of the suitcases full of photos of Steve and I in bed. I closed the suitcase abruptly and opened the other one.

“ARGHHHHHHH!” I stumbled backwards as I fell on the ground. It was Steve cut into pieces with a motorcycle helmet still on his head.

As I woke up, I straight away looked around to see where I was. I was still in the bedroom, the photos were still on my lap. It was a nightmare as I heaved a sign of relief. As I looked at my mobile phone, there were no calls or short messages and it was already nearly three in the morning. As I cleared off a few beads of perspiration, I went back to sleep again.

As the days went by, Kenneth’s incessant short messages were ignored. I just wanted to avoid him. I did not know why but I hoped he understood my stand. I told Andy to handle all arrangements of tuition lessons and all other matters with Kenneth so as to avoid him.

It was the weekend once again. I walked along the uneven pavement towards the temple slowly in the late afternoon. My aunt told me the location of my mother’s ashes. I looked down at the random puddles of water filling the small gaps and holes in the pavement. My umbrella was sufficient to only shelter one person as the pelting of huge raindrops on the ground seemed to be like an onslaught of small hailstones hammering onto the helpless ground which was under the mercy of the natural elements of the weather. The raindrops on the umbrella seemed to be making a rhythmic noise in the background. My pace turned from a slow one to an eventual stop.

As I looked up at the temple, the size of it seemed to want to devour me anytime. As I put my hands together and did a smaller prayer in front of the Buddha statue, I stepped into the premises. As I walked past columns and columns of urns, my eyes scanned for my mother’s photo. My reaction was slow when I took a glimpse at each photo, making sure that I did not leave her out. Finally I found my mother’s photo and I peered closer to double confirm. As I stood there, I could not help but shed a tear. Looking around me, there was nobody around at sight.

“Mama, bless Andy and I and hope that you can bring me guidance to my life. I am really confused now,” I stood there with my eyes half-closed as my voice was hardly audible.

“Hi Clara, I really missed you. Why did you avoid me?” a familiar voice rang from the left hand side of my ear.

“Kenneth?” I was surprised that he was just a few metres away from me.

“How did you find out where I was?” my inquisition somewhat turned a little hostile as I did not expect him to see him here but I did not want to turn him away immediately.

“I followed you, and I also wanted to pay my respects to auntie,” he bowed his head slightly in the direction of my mother’s photo.

He did not ask about why I ignored him, he just stood silent in front of my mother’s photo, seeming to offer a prayer in his mind as his eyes were close.

As we walked out, I felt awkward as I did not know what to say to him or to portray what kind of feelings towards him. I did not know whether to be elated, sad or angry when I saw him.

“Why did you ignore me?” his question popped out as we stepped out of the temple premises.

“I just wanted to be alone. I just…” my words came out two to three words at a time as confusion set in.

“You know how worried I was. Why must you avoid me? I don’t want you to be alone like this. I want to be with you. I want to take care of you,” Kenneth’s emphasis on his feelings towards me was not surprising.

“I just want to be alone for a while. My mother had passed away and the next moment, you come and ask me to be your girlfriend. What is wrong with you?” I had the urge to give him a slap on the face without any reason.

A smack came across his face as I subconsciously gave him a slap. I looked at my hand in disbelief of what I had done and I looked at his expressionless face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it. I am just under a lot of pressure,” I looked at him with concern as I touched his face.

At that moment, his arms wrapped around my waist as his arms seemed to wave an invisible force that made me almost fall into his embrace. As I cried, I put my hands around his waist tightly. I did not know why but I would not want to let go. It was so comforting to be hugged by him.

“Its ok, Clara,” he patted me as I felt so helpless in his embrace.

“Let me send you home,” he held my hand and led me to his car.

It was a strange feeling when I sat in his car. The feeling of me being inside it was different from the very first time when I sat in his vehicle. A feeling which I cannot describe, a moment which I cannot fathom.

As he stopped in the car park just below my home, the sky was very dark. It was unusual as it was only seven in the evening. As the sky turned maroon red, it began to drizzle. As the raindrops made a synchronous sound on the window panes on the car, I felt nice and cosy in my seat.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I felt startled as I turned to my right to see him staring at me.

“I just miss staring at you. I want to stare into those pairs of eyes. Those pairs of eyes which can talk to me, are so beautiful and alluring. Clara, do you know that I felt very hurt when you ignored me for a few days?” Kenneth’s words seemed to break my emotional resistance bit by bit, the inhibition of me seemed to be peeling with every word that spilled from his mouth.

“Why do you like me so much?” my question seemed to be in denial of the inevitable.

At that moment when I finished my question, he grabbed my shoulders and kissed on my lips. To my surprise, I did not expect that to happen and I quickly pulled away.

“Did I give you the permission to kiss me like this?” my words were alternating between fake defiance and injured innocence.

As my lips came to a close from my question, I grabbed his head and french-kiss him. I did not care how to react, but I knew that it was fate that we had to be together. I wanted to give everything to such a man who cared and showered concern for me even though I acted defiant and nonchalant in front of him.

As he held my waist, the kiss seems to transcend beyond liking of each other. It was so passionate that we knew that we had fallen in love for each other once again in a much deeper and unfathomable fashion. I felt that I could not live without him and I could feel that the feeling was vice versa.

As our lips parted, we panted and our breaths were deep as we inhaled deeply.

“I have something to tell you, but I do not know if it’s the right time,” I smiled at him as I outlined his cheeks with my fingers.

What would she tell her? find out in part 7!!