Alone….Maybe not. (part 5)

Hi everybody. Sorry for the delay. Apart from work committments, I had to pause for a few times when I wrote Part 5. When i wrote part 5, I really felt for the protagonist. I could not help but break down and cry too. Sometimes, when I write and I could not continue, it would just be the best way to relax my stresssed mind and so I could go into a different state to sleep. Thanks for your patience and understanding for the delay of part 5...

The story breaks down....

As I listened to the initial statement, I could not help but became stunted not knowing what to do….

“Your mother has passed away. She had been battling cancer for years. She died in her sleep peacefully late last night. I would send you a short message of the address for you to attend the wake, but I am not sure if my brother would make a scene if he sees you there,” the voice repeated as I did not respond to what the other side of the line said earlier.

“Thanks, auntie Carol,” I did not know how to react as I felt that my tears wanted to fall but yet could not and put down the phone without saying a goodbye.

“What happened?” Kenneth asked with much concern.

“My mother has passed away,” I could not help but torrents of tears came raining down my cheeks.

“I don’t have the courage to see her. I feel I let her down too much,” I tried to mince out the words in between my sobs.

“You would let her down even more if you do not see her for the very last time. I believe she would want you to do that no matter what you had done in the past. Trust me ok?” Kenneth’s words seemed to have cajoled me easily into taking in his advice.

“Listen to what I say. You take a day off alright? I do not think you are in the right frame of mind to go to work, bring Andy along and go to the wake. I could fetch you there and just hang around near there for a while,” Kenneth’s words were comforting as I nodded my head like a small child in front of him.

“Andy, your grandmother has passed away. I know you have not seen her before but I would want you to pay your last respects to your grandmother. Please do behave yourself at the wake, ok?” I was outside the school compound as Kenneth was waiting in the car nearby.

“Mummy, can I not go? I do not know who she is,” Andy did not sound defiant but seemed clueless of whether to follow my instructions.

“You must go Andy. She is after all your grandmother. Be obedient ok?” I cajoled him and he nodded his head slightly with agreement.

“Teacher, how are you? I did not see you for quite long already. How come you knew about what had happened?” Andy seemed to be trying to relate Kenneth with us.

“Well, don’t ask so much. He would be fetching us to the wake. Boy, do not be rude to your elders when you reach there and behave yourself. I remind you again,” I did not know why I was so long-winded but I just wanted to make sure that he understood what I was saying.

“What are you doing? You do not deserve to see her. You are not fit to be our daughter. Go away with your son,” my father’s face twisted in anguish as his eyes fastened on Andy’s face and his expression showed that he was both perturbed and displeased.

“She is after all my mother. Andy is her grandson. I believe we should at least pay our last respects to her,” I put on a brave front with aplomb as I was on the verge of breaking down upon seeing her photo in front.

I was adamant as I knelt down in front of my mother’s photograph.

“Kneel down in front of your grandmother. Do not worry so much about your grandfather. Just do as I said,” I held his hand tightly as I looked up to his confused look.

As I saw my father raised his hand wanting to slap me, I stayed there without moving an inch. I was prepared to be hit or abused but I would not budge.

“Allow her to stay. Please do not create a scene here,” my aunt raised her voice to my father and that was when he put down his hand as if not wanting to offend his eldest sister.

As I went to the coffin to see my mother’s face, she did not change much from the very last time I saw her so many years ago. As the floodgates of memories opened, I could not help but torrents of tears rained down my cheeks. Due to exhaustion and tiredness of the long hours of work that I had for years, I felt my legs trembling. It was unbearable as I tried to support my weak legs with my arms on the edges of coffin. The memories both happy and sad moments with my mother when I was a child and teenager cried out for more embellishments on my mother’s face: A hopeful twitch of any facial muscle on her face which could portray any expression that matched to anywhere close to the past moments that we had, a sign of communication through her eyes to mine which were almost identical not only in terms of the physical attributes in our eyes but also the spirit in those eyes.

“Don’t take it too hard,” I did not know that my aunt was behind me for quite some time as I seemed to be waken up from a stupor by her words.

“Goodbye, mama,” I spoke in my head as I looked at her.

My aunt seemed to want to continue on but she stopped as she looked at the state I was in. I did not care what the other relatives or friends thought of me. As I led Andy out, I just stared blankly at everybody else.

“Jiejie. I miss you very much,” a young man in his twenties suddenly spoke in my direction.

I almost could not recognise him from the sea of faces at the wake. I was very glad that he grew up to become a fine young man. His sharp features resembled his father. His eyes were like his mother. Once a young boy whom I had always taken care of and loved a lot, he was now a sturdy man with a slight muscular frame who was one head taller than I am.

I wanted to acknowledge him but I did not know why I turned my head away from him. Deep in my mind, I hoped he understood why I did such a thing. It was painful enough for me and I did not want to linger on the premises for another second. As I bit my lip, I just walked past him. The many faceless people that I went past made comments and even hurled abuses at me. All of that unwanted noise was filtered out of my mind as the sound travelled to my eardrums.

“Andy, be good and go home and do your homework. I need to talk to your tutor for a while,” I instructed Andy as Kenneth’s car reached to our home.

“Can you accompany me for today? Just drive me out of this neighbourhood,” Kenneth was accommodating as he nodded.

The silence in the car was deafening. My tear-stained face and my frowns seemed to have made Kenneth silent throughout the journey. I did not have any more tears that I could cry out for they had gone into my heart. Overwhelmed by immense grief, the pain in my chest seemed to be unbearable but I seemed to be numb from that pain. I wanted to utter a word but I could not as I felt a constriction in my chest which prevented me from doing so.

“Are you alright?” Kenneth finally broke the silence after he had drove about nearly fifteen minutes.

“Yes and no,” my whisper was hardly audible as I seemed to use a lot of effort to overcome that constriction to say something so contradicting to a simple statement.

As we reached the same park that we went the other day, it was already evening.

“Kenneth, I really thanked you for what you have done for me so far. I do not know how to express how I feel in words to the fullest extent,” I was startled with my own eloquence as I felt the constriction easing away.

“Its amazing how we knew so much about each other in a short span of not even a month when we actually had known each other for more than six months already,” Kenneth spoke as he used his fingers to comb my slightly disheveled hair.

“Things just happened so fast when they all come together. I do not know whether I have the courage and mental strength to face them all,” my fear and uncertainty built up within me was assuaged by his left arm around my shoulder as he tucked my head on top of his shoulder.

As I felt tiredness seeping into my body, I could not help but put my hands around him and took a nap…..

“Wake up, You are back home already,” Kenneth nudged me as I suddenly woke up realizing that I was already near my home.

“Thanks , Kenneth. I feel much better after a nap,” I realised that I had slept for the past four hours and Kenneth was beside me all these while.

As I waved goodbye to him, he smiled a little as I went up to my home, my steps were heavy with each step. I was exhausted from the events that happened in the day but at the back of my mind, the mental suffering of losing my mother was still lingering in me.

As I eyed the drawer, I did not know whether to open it. As I opened the drawer, the photo album seemed to stare at me. As I took the photo album out, the dust which flew up in the air made me cough a little. As I saw the first few photos which were my parents’ wedding photos, they were followed by pictures of my family. As I stared intensely at the pictures of my mother and myself, I did not know how to react. I had no more tears to shed. I just smiled slightly as I touched the photos with my fingers, outlining the face of my mother.

“Sorry, mother for what I did last time when I was not matured. I hope you can bless me and Andy,” I spoke unknowingly aloud.

As I was too engrossed with what I was doing, I did not know that Kenneth had called me. I realised that he had called me a few times but my mobile phone was put on silent mode and I had missed five of his call.

“Thank goodness that you had answered. I was worried when you did not pick up my phone call for a few times,” Kenneth’s anxiety over the phone was very obvious.

“I am alright. I was busy just now and I am trying to sleep now,” I reassured Kenneth calmly.

“I have something to ask you, but I know it is not the right time,” Kenneth seemed to stutter a bit when he spoke that.

-the end-

What is Kenneth going to tell Clara?

Find out in part 6!

Alone….Maybe not. (part 4)

Hi everybody. Without further delay, I deliver to you an "explosive" part 4...

The "explosion begins"....

“Do I look wild in front of you?” my voice was lowered deliberately as I was not afraid to behave like a slut in front of him.

Kenneth could not help but stare at me. There was a pause and I shivered with anticipation to what he would do next. As he closed and locked the bedroom door, his lust and desires for me started pouring out.

“Kenneth, let it all out. Be wild with me,” I held his head as he seemed to have shed all inhibition with his lips on my neck and his hands were caressing all over my body, concentrating on the sensitive areas of it.

Kenneth’s eyes fastened on mine as his facial expression seemed to shower me with both love and concupiscence. With a swift movement of his hands, my mini skirt and my lace panties were pulled down together and they were quickly off my ankles and to the floor. I could not help but grabbed onto his jeans, unbuttoned it and I did the same to him.

“What are you waiting for?” I grabbed onto his shoulder making his shirt crumple a little at the areas I grabbed, my aggression was greeted with a non-verbal reply where I slowly felt him in me.

It was pure pleasure as I felt sexier in front of him making love to him with my halter top on and my bra on still. It felt like we were one desperate couple who had not copulated for years and really missed the golden moments. As he half-kneeled in front of me, I could feel his warm touch transmitted to my bare flesh through the fabric I was still wearing on top. My facial expression alternated between injured innocence and a slutty presence with his every touch on my bust. My hands gripped onto the bedsheets momentarily as I turned my head to the right with my eyes half-closed. My moans of pleasure seemed to turn him up a notch or two as his hands pulled up my halter top to above my bust level. From the corner of my eyes, I could see his eyes were wide open with excitement as my strapless pink bra was revealed in front of him.

“Clara, all I can say is that I need and I want you,” his words were in a rhythmic tone in synchrony with his slight pants of breath.

“Kenneth, I want it deeper and harder,” my words seemed to produce a catalytic reaction as our love making session became more intense and deep.

As he unhooked my bra from the front, he immediately showered my big assets with full attention. As his hands were on them, his lips were all around it. I could not help but used my hands to grab on to his bottom, wanting all of what he could give to me.

As he pulled off my halter top and threw it randomly to the floor with my bra pushed aside, I took him slightly away from him and I unbuttoned his shirt quickly but my shivering hands slowed me down. With a little assistance from him, I finally could feel his nakedness on mine.

Kenneth and I were in our own world as we lost complete track of time. As I opened my mouth wide and panted harder, I could feel that I was going to reach the peak very soon and by looking at the familiar expression of him going to reach to the same level as me, I grabbed his head and gave him a deep french kiss, reducing our supposedly loud moans and groans as we reached our peaks at the same time to just muffled sounds in our mouths. I could feel him shivering and I knew he could feel mine too. As I felt the warmth of his fluids deep into mine, his hug was tight around me. The moment was magical and for a while, I felt my womanly instincts came gushing into my brains, from love and lust for his man to that of wanting to bear his child.

As we were stationary for a few seconds, he kissed my cheeks lightly and I smiled at him and pecked on his forehead.

I led him to the bathroom as we showered together. As my back was facing him, my head turned to the right as if wanting to know what he was doing as he rub a lot of shower cream onto my back and down to my legs. As his hands went up from my ankles to my thighs, I breathed deeply as his hands bypassed my sensitive area below and went up to my breasts. As his hands cupped them, the shower cream seemed to make his hands so smooth on my flesh. As I took his hands off, I also applied shower cream onto him. As he looked at where my hands were on his body, I could not help but giggle a little.

“Look at me, don’t look down,” I whispered in his ear as I gave him a playful look with my hands full of shower cream on his groin, going around it as I could feel that it seemed to be growing in size.

As the water from the shower head washed the soap off away, I could not help but grabbed his body as he held onto my waist. Our lips began to lock into each other again with the water from the shower head still running above us. He pinned me onto the wall with our lips still fully in contact with each other. As our lips slipped out of each other with excess moistness, I could feel our bodies in full contact with each other.

“I…,” Kenneth seemed to hesitate on what to say after the first word.

“I don’t care, Kenneth. I love you and I know you love me,” I seemed to have predicted how he felt and tried to assure him.

“I want you now,” Kenneth’s aggressiveness in the voice made me feel in the mood once again.

As Kenneth turned me around, I did not have any time to react as his hands pressed down on my shoulder blades gently. I knew what exactly he was thinking about but I resisted a little seemingly feigning ignorance to what was going to happen.

As he overcame me, my hands were on the wall. My body was arched forward as I bend forward. With him behind me, I could slowly feel him again as he grabbed my waist. As the water fell onto my back, the water trickled down in random directions. I could not help but moan and groan loudly as I knew that the sound from the shower head would reduce the decibel of the sound by a few notches. I felt so attractive and wanted by this man who made love to me twice in the same night.

As I shivered in our beautiful connection with each other, my hands was losing grip onto the wall. Noticing that, he skillfully held me a little as he pushed me closer towards the wall. As my body was arched a little forward, the intense of our love making session increased as his hands cupped my breasts. I felt helpless as all I could do is to enjoy the sheer pleasure that he gave to me.

As I tip-toed, my forearms were on the wall to support myself. As he reached to his peak for the second time, I seemed to be in a surreal environment. For a moment, I did not know where I was and what I was doing. All I could think of is that I am in a world with him, just him.

As we dried ourselves up, we went to the bed and hugged each other tightly. As we chatted, our words turned into silence and we slept in each other’s arms unknowingly.

“Mummy, where is my exercise book that you took to have a look?” the incessant knocking on the door woke me up briefly.

As I was still in a stupor, I realised that I was still naked beside Kenneth. As the knocks became more persistent, I suddenly had woken up without even a single dose of caffeine.

“Kenneth, wake up. Your student is looking for me,” I was not trying to be funny but I was desperately trying to wake him up but to no avail. He was fast asleep. Without having much of a choice, I covered him up totally with blankets and I quickly put on my nightgown. As I rummaged through the drawer, I found the exercise book that he needed and quickly run towards the door

“Yes, my dear. Here is your exercise book, you better get ready to go to school if not you would be late and Mr. Chia would punish you,” my door was barely open as it was just enough for the book to pass through the opening.

“Mummy, why is your room so messy? You tell me to make my room tidy, but your room is so messy now,” Andy seemed to be trying to peek into my room longer.

“Just go now. I want to sleep a little more. I am very tired,” I tried to divert the topic as I closed the door not bothering about his reaction.

As I went to my bed, I removed the blankets and Kenneth sprung up all of a sudden, scaring me out of my wits.

“You really scare the hell out of me,” I beat Kenneth’s arms as I did not know that he was so mischievous.

As I lie on the bed beside him, I wished I could spend the entire day with him in there. As we stroked each other’s hair and looked at each other, I could not help but feel bliss with a man like him.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

“Is the call with regards to work?” Kenneth asked out of concern.

“Don’t bother about it,” I did not care about the phone call, not evening looking at the phone.

As the phone rang a few times, I looked at the phone. It was an unfamiliar number and so out of curiosity I picked it up.

As I listened to the initial statement, I could not help but became stunted not knowing what to do….
-The end-

What exactly happened? Who called?

Find out in part 5!

Alone….Maybe not. (part 3)

Hi everybody.

Sorry for the long delay between part 2 and part 3. I was very busy recently..so now without further delay... part 3 for you!

part 3....

As we hugged each other to sleep with only the blanket covering our bare flesh, I felt I had the best sleep for almost seventeen years of my life. The warmth from his body was just sufficient to make me cosy in his arms and seemed like an invisible protection around me with that occasional chilly breeze which came through my bedroom window……

I woke up by the slow touches of Kenneth. As his left hand was around my waist and my right hand was on my shoulder, my smooth back greeted him. As his right hand moved slowly down from my shoulder to my neck, two of his fingers went past my cleavage and his right hand met his left hand. As his right hand briefly brushed past my left breast, I felt ticklish and I breathed a little harder. I looked down at his both hands and smiled. I did not know whether it was love or not. It was hard to define or describe.

“It’s seven in the morning. You had better get prepared to go to work. I can fetch you to your workplace,” Kenneth offered and I nodded my head with a child-like glee.

“Who is he? The one who fetched you in his car. Your new boyfriend?” Jocelyn passed by as I dropped off at the pavement by the building that I worked at.

“He is my neighbour,” I wanted to elaborate but I stopped short to tell her more details.

It was work again and I could not help but think of Kenneth. He was someone whom seemed to be a caring person but I was a single mother who had a child. I would not know whether he can even accept me if we could be together. I brushed those thoughts aside after looking at the intimidating amount of work that I had on my desk.

Time passed very fast as it was nearly six in the evening. I did not have a chance to look at my phone since lunch time and I glanced at my phone. There were a few messages but I skipped those and looked at what Kenneth had sent to me.

“Would you want to go out with me at night at around ten after my lessons had ended?” Kenneth’s short message read.

I agreed readily, wondering where he is going to bring me to. As we arranged for the meet up, I felt like as if two big weights had been lifted off from my shoulders. I did not know why. I just felt comfortable and happy to see him and I looked forward to seeing him tonight.

When I went home, I took a short nap as I felt very tired. It became a deep slumber and I was rudely woken up by the doorbell.

“Kenneth!” It was the only word I said as I opened the door and hugged him, but looking around making sure that the neighbours were not looking at my direction.

“Come in, Kenneth. I would get prepared in a short while. You just take a seat in the living room,” I beamed at him as I went into my room, not giving him a chance to talk.

As I came out of the bathroom with just a big towel wrapped around just below my shoulders to barely around my thighs, Kenneth was inside my room. My face was flushed with embarrassment in that instance.

“Sorry for intruding in, but I just want to…” Kenneth paused momentarily as he put his hands around my waist and kissed my lips.

I felt I had melted in his embrace. I did not care whether how I was presented in front of him. I just felt secured but yet vulnerable. As our mouths locked into each other, our passion rose up again as we caressed each other once again. I seemed to feel the touch of his warm hands even through the fabric of my towel. As his hands went to my thighs, they seemed to be going up to my bare flesh but he stopped short of doing anything else.

“..express my feelings for you, Clara,” Kenneth continued as our lips broke free from each other.

I smiled, not knowing how to react.

“I need to get dressed, before we go out,” I pointed at my towel and Kenneth gave the cheeky innocent look at me as he went out of the room.

“How’s work?” I broke the silence as the humming sounds of the engine were barely audible.

“Well, everything is fine. What about yourself?” Kenneth asked.

“Work has been hectic. Everyday from Monday to Wednesday, I would just go home and sometimes I would just talk to my son or just watch television. Andy is quite obedient but he is always busy with his schoolwork and such. I would not want to disturb him or invade into his privacy,” I did not know why I blabber on even though he was not asking about Andy.

“I got to agree with you. Andy does not argue much with me although he is a little lazy. He just needs a little motivation and something to make him start his engine to do his work. It must be hard on you all these years,” Kenneth punctuated his statement as his hand held my hand tightly.

I did not know how to react but I just let him hold my hand for as long as possible. The silence was deafening as Kenneth turned into the road leading to Telok Blangah hill park.

“I always come here to look into the trees when I am vexed, bored or stress with work,” Kenneth pointed in front as he parked his car.

“So why do you bring me here?” I was curious.

Kenneth just smiled at me without answering the question. As we stepped out of the car, I felt an air of natural calmness surrounding me. As he held my hand, I felt my soul was lifted with a sense of belonging to this man, Kenneth. I stole glances at him while he was looking away from me and beamed to myself.

“It’s good to forget your worries for a while and look at nature in front of you right now. When you get back to work the next day, you would be more refreshed and perform better in your job,” I am not sure whether Kenneth was answering my question with deliberate delay or not.

“When I broke off with my girlfriend two years ago, I did not know when would be the next time I would find someone special. When I first saw you while teaching your son, I just had a strange feeling that I would get to know you more. That intuition that I had was right eventually,” Kenneth continued as he looked at my direction.

I acted shy as I looked away from him. At the corner of my left eye, I could see that he was still looking at my direction, as if trying to anticipate what I am going to say next.

“Well, last night, you already know me very well,” I answered with a concoction of happy complacence and embarrassment.

There was not a single soul around us. No vehicles parked in there. The place seemed to just fill the two of us looking out at the vast greenery. The time seemed to tick very slowly as we looked in random directions, occasionally looking at each other.

We went back into the car. Kenneth started to start the engine and switched on the air-conditioning but the car did not move an inch. As it was still engaged in the parking gear, the air between us was an awkward one. I did not know what to do next and I had no idea what he was thinking of.

As he looked at me intensely into my eyes, he suddenly tilted himself towards me and grabbed my shoulders to kiss my lips. As our lips were engaged, I resisted and pushed him away forcefully, almost causing him to go back to his seat.

“What are you doing?” my fierce tone caused his head to tilt backwards in surprise.

Without even giving him a chance to reply and stealing a quick glance around the surroundings to make sure there was no single soul, it was my turn to tilt towards him and I grabbed his shoulders causing him to move away from his seat. As I initiated the kiss, his lips gave me the impression at those few seconds that he was confused at what was going on just now but his passion and intensity in his kiss overtook the confusion.

As I pulled out my lips away from him, I looked at him with my half-closed eyes. It was as if I was still in a dream.

“Do you love me?” my words seemed to come emerging from the iceberg of sub consciousness.

“Yes I do,” his reply was barely audible as if afraid of letting other people hear.

“I am a single mother, you don’t mind?” I did not know why I said that as it seemed to be a redundant statement.

“I do not mind, but we need to spend more time together to know each other better. I was hoping to settle down and get married if I could,” Kenneth’s words seemed to massage every corner and contours of my ears as they were so soothing to my eardrums.

“I felt touched by how you really felt towards me. I am happy to what you have mentioned but I do not want what happened last night to affect your decision making or in any sense to make you feel committed towards me,” I touched Kenneth’s hands with assurance.

“It’s getting late. You have to work at night too right tomorrow?” Kenneth’s diversion of the topic struck me that the next day was Wednesday and I had to work at night.

“Could you tell me which pub you work at? Maybe I might pop by,” Kenneth’s question was replied instantaneously with a note I scribbled on a rough piece of paper and I just stuffed it into the pocket, not knowing why I did such a silly thing towards him.

It was a brand new day. The manager of the pub I was working at told me about the schedule for the week. For this week, I had to work everyday at night from today till Saturday. I feel that it would be sleepless nights for the next few days.

“Can I have a jug of beer please?” Mr. Chen grinned at me as I acknowledged him immediately so as to avoid him.

Mr. Chen was one of our regular customers. He was forty over years old and he came here sometimes alone or with one or two of his colleagues. His oval-shaped face with a mop of curls on top of his head always wore a puckish grin and his debauched eyes never failed to wink at every girl or waitress which was in the pub. When I poured the beer into his mug, his left hand grabbed the lower part of my wrist.

“Hey Clara, would you be free after work? I would like to have supper with you, can I?” his stare at me made me feel very uneasy as his stare was aimed just below my neck.

“I have a date with someone. I thought you are always talking to Ann and you wanted to ask her out?” I maintained my calmness as my smile was maintained in his direction and I discreetly took my hand away from his grasp.

“Well, she is always not free. So I ask you instead,” his words were not only tactless but it made me wonder whether any woman would want to go out with him.

I ignored him as I went busy with my work. Although the pub was slightly more than half-filled, some customers would make small chats with me and I would just entertain them for a short while before taking orders from other tables.

“You even bothered to talk to Mr. Chen for a while. I cannot stand him, he always like to touch me whenever he has the chance to. There was one time I had to swallow a stomach full of anger and tell him nicely when he touched my buttocks,” Ann looked at Mr. Chen as she spoke to me with an irritation mounting into quivering indignation.

I just laughed at Ann’s remarks. At the age of twenty eight, her petite frame boasted of a good figure that I do envy how she could maintain even though she had a huge appetite.

As the night progressed, there were no signs of Kenneth. I thought to myself that he might not be coming. As I was busy taking the drinks from the bar, a pair of hands suddenly caressed briefly on my shoulder. I turned around and was surprised to see Kenneth.

“Kenneth!” I shouted out loud not caring about the surroundings.

As I looked around, there were no customers who needed to be tended to. I pulled him to the back near to the toilet. As he leaned against the wall, I held his hands and kissed his lips. My eyes darted from left to right, hoping nobody would be walking by and spotting us.

As our kisses were deep and short, Kenneth grabbed my hands as he pushed me slightly for me to lean against the opposite wall.

As we looked at each other, a male customer smiled at me and walked into the toilet.

“I have to get back to work. I shall get you a drink,” I slipped my hands out of his as I walked out to the main area.

After I served Kenneth his drink, I talked to him briefly before going around to other tables.

It was finally two in the morning. It was time to close the pub. As I drank the last few rounds with my regular customers, I was abit tipsy as I did my closing.

“Let me send you back home,” Kenneth offered.

As we reached home, Kenneth helped me to open the door. I was a bit giddy due to my excess alcohol consumption. As he went past Andy’s door, it was close. Andy was in his room fast asleep.

As Kenneth helped me lie down on the bed, I cheekily pulled him down together with me to the bed.

“Andy is just next door. I better get going,” Kenneth’s whisper was hardly audible as he did not want to wake Andy up as my bedroom door was still ajar.

“Who cares? I am his mother. He is not my father. Why do you bother?” my crazy laughter in between my words that I was trying to mince out of my mouth was briefly covered by his hand.

My soul seemed to go out towards Kenneth wholeheartedly with my eyes almost closed. As I quivered slightly, my bare shoulders moved up and down rhythmically with my heavy breathing. My chest heaved, fell and heaved again. In short sharp spurs of breath, my eyes could not help but stare at Kenneth through the wild mass of hair on my face. Kenneth’s eyes reciprocated.

“Do I look wild in front of you?” my voice was lowered deliberately as I was not afraid to behave like a slut in front of him.

What would happen next? I don't know as yet, don't ask me! Look out for part 4 soon!

Alone….Maybe not. (part 2)

Hi everybody. Wow, I received a lot of remarks on this latest story especially the second part of it. I am glad I actually stirred up some reaction. Well, some of you all who read my story in the office and felt that it was not the right place to enjoy...hmmm..well, if you are in the office and you are reading this now, I guess its better that you leave it to when you get back home or somewhere else where you feel comfortably reading it....

The intimacy continues...

“I want you to lie down on your stomach. I want to treat you to something special,” our wet kisses came to a stop as I grabbed his head.

He seemed like a little boy as he obediently followed what I said. As he lied down on the bed as instructed, I opened my legs apart between his legs as I massaged his back slowly with my hands. It had been a long time since I had done that. As his slight moans and groans were synchronous with my routine massage, I used my knee knuckles to give him a gentle massage at the sides of his body. Smiling to myself, I gently unbuckled my bra and removed it as slowly as possible so that he would not notice it. I put it on the bed gently and slowly lie down on his back. As my bare breasts touched his back, I could literally feel the shivers down his spine bone, knowing that I was topless but he could not see. He could only feel them but not see them as yet.

As he turned his head to one side attempting to peek a little, I put my hands to cover his eyes playfully.

“Yes?” It was a very long yes purposely stretched longer with a slight tease in my voice.

“Nothing,” he chuckled to himself as his hands were attempting to try to touch my body.

I held his hands down, not allowing him to do anything else but just lie down still. As I slowly rub my body against him, I could not help but felt more aroused as I rubbed in a rectilinear motion and subsequently in a circular one. I did not want to be too carried away and I sat up. I positioned myself as my kneel knuckles started to massage his body and I smiled cheekily to myself. I stealthily took up my bra and wore it back.

“Ok, Kenneth. Are you feeling much better now?” I pat on his back with my two hands as I got up.

Kenneth turned around as his excitement written on his face seemed to turn to a slight disappointment.

“Why? The massage was not good?” I asked innocently as I half expected why his facial expression changed a little.

“I thought you…. Nevermind..nothing,” Kenneth seemed to be tongue-tied, not knowing what to say or whether to say it.

As he lied on his back, his eyes pierced into mine trying to read into my thoughts as they slowly rolled down towards where my boobs were. He seemed to be in thought and I was trying to decipher every thought through the intensity of his stare.

As I lied down on top of him, our mouths were engaged once again. As our hands glided at every bare flesh of each other, I tactically unbuckled my bra from behind.

“Close your eyes, Kenneth. No peeping,” I put my hands on his eyes and lifted them up.

As his eyes were shut, I slowly removed my bra and suffused him with luxurious warmth from being aroused from my upper bare body to his torso.

“You were wondering what you had felt just now when I was lying on top of you?” my voice was low and slightly hoarse as I gave him a gentle massage on his stomach with my breasts.

My eyes were fixed on his, making sure that his eyes were shut. As my breasts gently went down below his stomach to where his groin was. His hard-on was obvious as I gentle slide my cleavage on it. As his hands attempted to try to grab something, I held his hands down and slide up as my face was just a hair breadth distance away from mine.

“Open your eyes,” I whispered in his ear as I blew air in his ear and nibbled it a little.

I panted very heavily as I felt very nervous letting him almost see that part of my body that I was most proud of. As my breasts were rested on his chest, we looked at each other intensely. His eyes were darting between my eyes and my breasts. As I slowly got up, my breasts were slowly revealed in full view. Before I could get up, the floodgates of passion and lust that was burning in him broke open. He held me up as he sat up and licked my breasts. As I arched my back backwards and put my hands on his thighs, I moaned with every wet touch of his tongue on my nipple. Grabbing my waist, he turned me around and lay me swiftly but gently on my bed. As his last piece of cloth was thrown on the floor, he correspondingly removed my panties. As we exchanged glances at each other’s nakedness, he began to instinctively climb on top of me, I knew what he wanted but I crossed my legs alternatively putting on the look of fake innocence and that of sluttish arrogance.

As I rubbed my bare flesh above my groin area on his groin, he attempted to try to open my legs up and put them in between mine, but I resisted to his attempt. When he stopped, I was wondering whether he would try to persist or try to do something else. As he put his hands in between the bed sheets and my back and scooped me a little, my head arched backwards. I was looking at the ceiling. His mouth paid full attention to my huge milk jugs. Being at that position was a big turn-on for me as I felt attractive and wanted by him. As every lick and nibble of his mouth on my breasts slowly melted down my resistance, my legs felt weaker as every shiver down my spine was greeted by more attention on my sensitive areas. Eventually, he pried my legs open slowly with one of his legs and subsequently both of his legs.

“Ohh..my god,” I felt a smooth entry in me as I could not help but scream a little.

As the image of my fake innocence slowly diminished, my lust for him was portrayed in my facial expression and my body movements. As our bodies were moving together in perfect synchrony, we were trying to climb up to new heights for our mutual desires for each other.

As his hands fitted into mine, he was making love to me more intensely and going into a deeper level in a kneeling position every time my body movements were in synchrony with his in a kneeling position. My moans became from a slow rhythm to that of random torrents which were so fast that my true feelings which could barely be minced out of my mouth were incoherent.

“Kenneth…I love you,” I did not know whether he could understand what I said.

As I contracted, he pushed my hands down to the bed as his body was in full contact on me. He started to moan out loud as I knew that he has reached his peak. I closed my eyes as I felt the entire moment.

“Clara, I love you too,” his words shot out with a short breath as he panted heavily.

My thoughts flirted between my pure lust and desires for him and that of even wanting him to be my husband and having a child with him.

As he stopped, he hugged me tightly as he kissed my lips.

“I….. I would take responsibility if anything happens,” he seemed to realise that we had unprotected sex as if waking up from another realm of reality.

I kissed him back as I held his head up. My eyes met his.

“Its ok, my dear. Don’t worry too much. Even though it is not the right moment to ask and I should not be the one asking, I really want you. You give me something special that a lot of men cannot. I feel so secure just now,” my voice gradually became louder as my confidence grew with my feelings for him.

As I looked at the clock, it was already past one in the morning.

“If you are too tired to drive back home, you can sleep here,” my offer blurted out from my mouth, hoping that he would not reject. His nod delighted me.

As we washed up, we snuggled up comfortably in the bed. I found a new pillow in him and I wrap my arms around him.

“It’s been a long time since I have somebody else I feel comfortable to sleep with,” I broke the golden silence, a smile and a pat on my head acknowledged my remark.

“You know when I was young, I used to have many boyfriends. I always hung out late with them. One day when I ignored my father, he managed to locate me with one of my ex-boyfriends at a playground. I was so drunk that night that I scolded vulgarities at him and he threw me out of my home. He literally dumped all my belongings into two suitcases and put them outside my home back then. At that time, I was very young. I had nowhere to go but I had to stay in my ex-boyfriend’s home. I was about sixteen years old at that time. When I was seventeen years old, my ex-boyfriend made me pregnant and I thought that he could take care of me. He seemed to be lost and did not know what to do. Our relationship turned sour even though we were staying together and not long after that, he was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was six months pregnant. One of my distant relatives knew about it and I was lucky that she could give me a shelter and helped me to find a job after I gave birth to Andy. Even though it was so long time ago, the memories seemed to be so fresh in my head,” a few tears uncontrollably trickled down my face as they slowly touch his bare flesh as I tried to stifle my cries.

“Don’t cry. It’s over now. Andy may be a bit playful but he is a very thoughtful child. He is a very independent boy unlike other students I have. I believe you should be proud of him,” he finally spoke after I poured out the past to him.

“From there on, I never wanted to talk to my immediate family members. I have not seen them since the day I was kicked out. I am not too sure if they still remember me, but I guess that I would not be able to recognize my youngest brother. When I last saw him, he is about ten years old. Now he should be twenty six years old,” my smile was not of happiness but a strong conviction of knowing that I can look at life more positively in the years ahead.

“I always believe that when the rain stops, sunshine would come eventually. Things would turn around at the darkest moments of one’s life. From these darkest moments of one’s life, one could learn a lot of lessons and strengthen his or her mentality to reach for greater heights,” Kenneth’s words seemed to be going into my head subconsciously as I was deep in thought to something which I could not help but tell him.

“Its amazing that I know so much about you in one night as compared collectively over the past few months when I first got to know you at the start of the year. Why haven’t I met you much earlier?” my words came out of my mouth automatically but yet seemed to be memorised from a pre-written script.

As we hugged each other to sleep with only the blanket covering our bare flesh, I felt I had the best sleep for almost seventeen years of my life. The warmth from his body was just sufficient to make me cosy in his arms and seemed like an invisible protection around me with that occasional chilly breeze which came through my bedroom window……

-the end-

Well, that's the end, as in really the end of the whole story?

Nah, lets see how the relationship between Kenneth and Clara developed in part 3.....

Alone….Maybe not. (part 1)

Hi everybody. Its been quite a long time since I wrote about something local. I have actually gathered life experiences of 5 different ladies and put them into a blender and concocted to a story! I hope that for them, they can relate to certain parts of the story. As for the rest of you all, I hope you would enjoy the story!

The Singapore woman experience starts.....

“Good morning, Clara. You look quite pale today,” my colleague, Jocelyn, was looking at me as I walked in.

“I did not have a good night’s rest, but I would be able to cope well throughout the day,” I did not look at Jocelyn as I spoke.

As I sat down at my table, it was time to start work. It was a Monday and it was also the first day of the second semester for my son, Andy. During his lower secondary school days, he fared not too bad but once he hit the upper secondary stage, his grades tumbled down like a big rock going down the hill crushing everything that got in its way. It was a lucky thing that his tutor was a good one although his fees were a little expensive. I chuckled to myself on the thoughts that he was also quite charming in a way.

I brushed my thoughts aside as I did not want them to distract my work. Working as an accounts executive in the company was a blessing as my education level was not high and the pay was pretty good. In order to keep up to the rising costs of living in this country, I also had a night job which nobody except for Jocelyn knew. I was a waitress in a club working two to three days a week from eight in the night till four in the morning. With just that meager few hours of sleep, it was definitely not enough. On certain occasions, even the strong dose of coffee was not enough to keep me awake till lunch time and I ended up falling asleep at my desk and not going for lunch. Luckily I slept throughout Sunday and I was not feeling tired even though I had only three hours of sleep the night before. Being an accounts executive is not too boring as I need not have to be desk bound all the time. If I were just a clerk stuck at my desk, I would be so bored that I could doze off easily in front of the computer screen.

It was six in the evening. I was so relieved that I could finally knock off from work. Finally, after a few consecutive nights of working at the pub, I could go home to rest early. As I send a short message to Andy reminding him to come back for tuition, I was too exhausted to bother whether he replied and just slept on the way back home. As I slowly strolled to my flat, I was almost in a daze and I did not realise that the tutor was already at the doorstep.

“Hey, Kenneth, what are you doing outside the door? Where is Andy?” I was surprised that he was standing outside the door as I almost bumped into him literally.

“I guess nobody is at home. The doorbell was pressed a few times but there was no response,” Kenneth looked puzzled as I felt like a fool not knowing what to do next.

“Oh let me get the keys and open the door to let you in. I would call Andy and see what happened,” I exclaimed as I searched for the keys in my bag.

I realised that I did not check my phone to see if Andy had replied. There was no reply from him and I called him instead.

“Andy, where are you? Your tutor is here. You better get home now,” I was irritated partially because of the lack of sleep I had the previous night.

“I have told you Ma that I cannot make it. I have to attend a camp for 3 days two nights. You must have forgotten,” the response on the other line suddenly struck in me that I had forgotten to tell Kenneth about it.

“Kenneth, really sorry, I forgot to tell you that his tuition has to be postponed. He has a camp. I am really sorry to keep you waiting just now too,” I apologized profusely although Kenneth does not seem angry at all.

“Its alright. Since I have a bit of time, I would like to tell you the progress of how Andy is doing in his studies,” Kenneth smiled at me as he sat down on the sofa.

As Kenneth told me about Andy’s progress, I was really very glad that my son had found a good tutor in Kenneth to guide him along in his studies.

“I am just curious. We did not have a chance to chat like this at all until today. I am just curious how old are you? You look young to have a son who is fifteen years old this year,” Kenneth’s question came out of the blue as it digressed away from the topic.

“I am thirty two years old this year. You know I am a single mother and I had him at the age of seventeen years old. His father left us,” my voice was loud but became softer as I did not really know whether to let him know too much.

“I really admire you for bringing him up at such a young age. I am one year older than you and I am still single,” his complements did not seem to sync into my head but I was surprised that he was older than me by a year although he looked like he was twenty eight years old.

His hand casually put on my lap as he blurted out his comments. I did not know how to react but I held his hand momentarily before letting go.

“Are you hungry? I can make a simple dinner before you go. Accept it as an apology for keeping you waiting just now and for cancelling the lesson so last minute. It was my mistake,” I went to the kitchen as I did not hear his reply.

“I would love to give you a hand too as well. I know how to whip up a few good dishes,” Kenneth’s spontaneous reply surprised me.

After knowing him more, I realised he was quite a talented man. Not only he knows how to teach three subjects which are English, Mathematics and Science, his culinary skills were quite impressive. I also learnt that he also did his own household chores at home and excelled in sports too.

As we ate dinner and chatted, I felt like I was talking to an old friend and not my son’s tutor. As time flew, I did not realise that it had been three hours since we stepped into the apartment.

“I got one comment for you, if you don’t mind. You are pretty, how I wish I can have a gal friend like you,” his words seemed to be blurted out without much thought or consideration.

I smiled at myself. I felt good about the comments but yet I did not want to be too carried away. He had a certain fathomless charm. His intelligence and wit was not overwhelming but seemed to tickle my senses every now and then. I felt that I was attracted to him more and more with every moment with him.

As I finished washing the plates, I walked out of the kitchen. I tilted my head downwards unknowingly and I almost knocked onto him.

“If I did not stop you, you would have bumped into me,” Kenneth held my shoulders to stop me from moving forward.

As I looked up, I was lost for words. I did not know what to do. As my thoughts flirted between my conscious and subconscious mind, I was tempted to lean forward to kiss his lips. Little did I know that my thoughts meandering through my subconscious mind were controlling my physical movements as I closed my eyes and leaned forward towards him. As our lips touched, I became bolder. I took the initiative to kiss him. He did not resist as his hands moved down to my waist and held me tightly there. It had been so long since I had that kind of feeling: the feeling of being wanted by a man.

As I held his head, our kisses became more intense. Our tongues engaged each other as our wet kisses were no longer on our lips as his lips were on my cheek and down to my neck.

As we broke free, I wanted to convey the message to him that it did not seem right to do that and that we should stop, but yet deep inside me, I wanted to continue. My message seemed to be conveyed silently through my eyes to him and he seemed to understand. His reply came with a gentle hug around my waist as he reassured me with a kiss in our lips. As our French kiss became prolong and deep, I felt my female hormones raging inside me. I took his collar as I dragged him into the bedroom.

“I didn’t expect that it would turn out this way..” his words broke the romantic silence as I hushed him with my finger on his lips.

I planted a kiss on his lips as I closed the bedroom door behind. His hands were on mine as he pinned me gently on the door. His apparent domination on me seemed to make me feel secured. As each kiss shed each layer of inhibition, we got bolder as our hands and lips explored each other. My shivers of pleasure where his touches were at my sensitive areas were replied by more attention on them. I closed my eyes and moan slightly as my head tilted upwards. I felt vulnerable as my soft spots were slowly revealed to him.

It was too much to bear as I pulled him to the bed causing us to have a soft landing on it. As he climbed on top of me, I could see his manly desires coming out slowly. As he slowly unbuttoned my blouse from the top button, his touches and kisses explored every bit of flesh. As the last button was removed, my blouse was spread apart. I breathed heavily as I looked at him in the eyes. The eye contact was intense and it seemed like we are trying to read each other’s minds through our eyes. With his eyes still staring into mine, his hands lay gently on my soft breasts. The lycra material of the brassiere separates the skin-to-skin contact. As he planted kisses selectively on my torso, he caused me to quaver a little. I moaned a little when his lips went from my cleavage to my left breast. His kiss seemed to pierce through the lycra material and ignite my womanly sensitivity. I held the bed sheets very tightly enjoying every single moment of what he was doing to me. With that little knowledge and little time with me, he knew almost what I desired and yearned for.

“Stand up,” my voice was hardly audible as I was panting slightly.

As he slowly stood up, I put my hands on his chest as my hands come together in the middle and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He was lean and quite muscular as I felt every inch of his torso. My mouth pecked at every inch of flesh revealed with each button being put out of its original position. As I removed his shirt, he reciprocated by removing my blouse. As I hugged his waist, I knelt down and my face was near to his groin area. I could feel that he had a hard on as I slowly removed his pants. As his pants dropped to the floor, Kenneth pulled me up. He hugged me as his hands went down to my waist and to where the zip was at the side of my skirt. He held me apart from him and my tight skirt slowly slipped off. Only in our underwear, we seemed to lose control of ourselves. Our desires poured out for each other literally. As his groin was in contact with mine, I felt very high. It was a long time since I had such moments with a man. The sense of security that he gave to me was translated into his touches, embraces and kisses. It was not just lust but passion and love seemed to be growing and blossoming.

“I want you to lie down on your stomach. I want to treat you to something special,” our wet kisses came to a stop as I grabbed his head.

-the end-

What is going to happen next? part 2 would give you the answer!

A girl with no name 无名女郎 (conclusion)

HI everybody. Finally this is the conclusion to the story. Its a long conclusion about 5000 words. Without further delay, let me unroll the final part of this story.

The story finally concludes...


It was another busy Friday night. As we went about our usual dance routine, I glanced around. There were a lot of people. I scanned around for familiar faces as I looked from the left to the right. As I was about to look at the right hand side from the stage, I was given a thousand dollar sash as the pop sound from the confetti spray came. As the flower girl pointed to the right hand side from my view, I was shocked to who gave me this sash, but I had to carry on dancing on the stage and to remain composed. Many pair of eyes also looked at his direction.

He was not Chris. He was not Alex. He was George. My heart sunk to the deepest abyss of the ocean. My past had finally caught up as he eventually found me in here.

“He gave you a one thousand dollars sash. Why don’t you go over there to entertain him?” Mr. Fang questioned me as I was hanging around at the bar.

I did not even answer his question. I sulked at Mr. Fang and went over to the table.

“Hi, my name is Vanessa. What is yours?” I was aloof when I spoke to George pretending not to know who he is.

“Don’t pretend, Ling Ling. You know who I am. I could not have changed so much over these few months. It’s almost a year. My heart is still loyal to you. Please come back to Taiwan with me. I would not disappoint you anymore,” George started on his cajoling as I distributed the alcohol from his bottle over the two glasses, pouring a lot on my side.

“Drink up,” I took the glass and handed it to George.

I drank the concoction in my glass. It seemed bitter to the taste but yet it soothed my nerves. I gulped it down as fast as I can.

“Ling Ling, my father passed away one month ago. I sold a few businesses to reduce my responsibilities. Everyday, I tried to take you off my mind but I could not. Apart from drowning myself into work, my mind only had you. When a Taiwanese friend of mine told me that you are working in here, I immediately flew here to look for you. Please don’t go. I promise I would give you happiness and a very comfortable life. You would not need to work for the rest of your life,” George pleaded me as he grabbed my hand tightly.

I turned away to a direction where nobody could see. As it was a corner of the place, not many people could see us making a conversation. I tried to hold back my tears. My aim to come here is not just to avoid him, but to have a comfortable life ahead with my mother. I was afraid of his father, but I know that George is not the same as his father. He had also paid a price on his mistake of losing his wife-to-be.

“I want to propose to you right now at this moment. Would you take me to be your husband and go back to Taiwan with me?” George opened up a small red box as an engagement ring was planted in it.

“Don’t do it now, it’s very embarrassing. I am working now. Could we discuss about it later?” I hissed at him as I gripped firmly onto his hand. George seemed to want to spring out of his seat anytime.

“I have a boyfriend here. If things go well, I would marry him and stay with him in Singapore. He can take care of me. It’s not about money, George. It’s about whether we can click. The feelings for each other must be mutual. George, you know what I mean. My feelings for you had died in Taiwan there and then. I am sorry,” my words seemed to be rocks shattering the fragile glass into a million pieces.

“I will come everyday to prove my sincerity and I will not go back to Taiwan till you go back with me. Seeing you is the least I asked for right now,” his persistence did not move an inch of my stand towards him.

As I was walking to the toilet, Alex came. I was so delighted that I put my arms around him as a tear trickled down my cheek. Alex was taken aback by my action.

“What’s wrong with you?” Alex spotted that bead of tear on my cheek.

“Nothing, I am just happy to see you again,” I gave a white lie not wanting to let Alex know what happened.

As I went to the washroom, many thoughts meandered through my mind. I knew that being with George, I would have a very comfortable life. Recalling the times that we were happy together, he was indeed very good to me. He was right after all, I was not his mistress, not his lover. I am just his companion. It was just so coincidental that his wife-to-be is my best friend. My thoughts tangled with one another. No matter how much I try to straighten them, it was just too difficult. It seemed impossible.

That night seemed long. I tried to avoid George as much as possible, but in order not to avoid any suspicion from the management and my other colleagues, I treated him like other customers.

“You don’t look alright. Something must have happened earlier,” Alex initiated the conversation as I sat on his table.

“Nothing, can we behave like a couple today?” my request seemed strange in Alex’s ears as I spotted George looking at our direction.

As he put his hand around my waist, I leaned against Alex. I felt good as I gave him my glass and he drank half of it and I drank the other half. I looked around, only George was intensely looking at our direction. It was too far away to judge his exact emotions but I intend to play this game a little further. I kissed Alex’s lips for a full two seconds.

As I left his table, I purposely went to George’s table. The perturbation of his soul was not only in his posture, it was in the very eyes glinting with anger. Jealousy was etched in the lines above his brows. His mouth wanted to move to sting me with the first few words that came straight from his mind at that moment.

“You did that on purpose right, you. Who is he?” George pointed his finger at Alex’s direction.

“He is my boy friend. Can’t I have a moment of intimacy with him?” I knew that my words would send his anger bursting through the roof of tolerance he had all these while.

He left with a huff as he glared at Alex.

“Who is he? He seemed to be angry with you and me,” Alex was taken aback by George’s actions when I walked past Alex.

“He is just another disgruntled customer. It’s common. Maybe he likes me and he is jealous that I am close to you. It’s normal in here,” my lies through my teeth seemed convincing.

The days seemed harder to pass. George turned up everyday without fail. The one thousand dollar sash that he gave me everyday raised suspicion not only to my other colleagues but also to the management. They are curious what the background of that new generous customer was and his intention of doing that everyday.

“I want to make a request to go to another place to work. It would be better that I leave this country,” I confronted Mr. Fang as I could not stand it anymore.

“Ever since that mysterious man turned up, your popularity seemed to go up even more. Wouldn’t it be a waste for you to go just like that? I am also curious to what your relationship between you and that man is too,” Mr. Fang tried to reason with me.

“I cannot tell you. I hope you understand. I want to get out of the country. It’s my request. You can bring me to another country to work but you got to keep it a secret,” I pleaded with Mr. Fang.

“If you had not known, that mysterious guy called George had approached me earlier today. He knew that you are bounded by a contract. He had given me a cheque of twenty thousand dollars. You only have two more months left before your contract ends. This amount is more than enough to cover the damages for breaching the contract and your employment in here can be terminated immediately. If you do agree to it, I would terminate your contract immediately but there is one condition. You have to go back to Taiwan with him and I would not allocate you to another work place. He say you would know the reason to his actions,” Mr. Fang’s words seemed to send my world crashing down as I looked disappointed.

“I know you wouldn’t want to leave with him to Taiwan. Why not you continue staying in here, I think eventually George would give up and go back to Taiwan. At the moment, there are no other places you can go to anyway,” Mr. Fang seemed to have anticipated my thoughts.

I nodded my head reluctantly. I really do not wish to see George anymore. But I did not know where a relationship would be headed to with Alex either. I think I would prefer to be alone.

It was a Tuesday night. I prayed hard that George would not come tonight. I just did not want to see him or pretended not to see him if he was around. I am not worried so much for Belinda and Carol as they are coping well with their work so far. It was a vast improvement as compared to the first week when they came in. Ever since that lecture, Kelly was someone whom I slowly strayed away. She is a dangerous person who lurked around my shadows, ready to pounce at every opportunity.

As the night progressed, there was no sight of George. As George normally sat at the same table, I was looking constantly at that direction to see if he was there. He was not there. The table was empty even when there was a reservation sign on it. I felt relieved. Maybe he had given up on me after more than two weeks.

It was one in the morning. A group of youngsters were making some commotion as Belinda was there. I knew that I had to go over to help her.

“Belinda, what happened?” I was concerned as I saw Belinda frightened.

Before I could pull her away to ask her to explain, one of the youngsters walked up to me and stared at me.

“We just want to play around with Belinda, why do you want to disturb us?” he seemed to be threatening as he raised his voice at me.

“I just want to know what had happened. It seems like you are bullying her. I want you to stop what you are doing if not I would ask the management to investigate,” I ordered as a new found courage crept into my nerves wanting to protect Belinda.

“Fine, we would just drink. Its all because of you that’s why our fun is spoilt,” his voice was the same as I could see fury in his eyes.

“What exactly happened?” I was anxious as I pulled Belinda out and asked her at a quiet spot.

“We played five ten, then they cheated and they wanted me to drink all the time. Then when I drank, they mocked at me saying I am slow and stupid like a retard. I wanted to get out there after a few rounds, when you came,” Belinda explained.

When the night finally ended, Belinda and I walked out of the premises and into the alley towards home when we were confronted by that group of youngsters.

“Just now you did not allow me to have my fun. Now I would want to see where you are going to run to,” the same youngster who talked to me just now pointed the finger to me as the group surrounded us.

As the group closed in on us, I heard a familiar voice.

“If you lay a single finger on them, I would not be kind to you,” I was surprised that the voice belonged to George.

“You are looking for trouble?” another voice from the group projected out loud.

“Run away quickly. Don’t worry about me. I would know what to do,” George shouted out as his hands waved wildly.

As the group closed in on George, I did not know what to do. I ran off away from them with Belinda. My heart told me to help George, but my mind told me that its better we stayed clear.

As we headed home, I felt uneasy. Although I did not want to see George, I did not want anything bad to happen to him either. I hesitated in going back to find him.

“Sister, I think its better we go back to check out if he is alright,” Belinda seemed to have read my thoughts.

As I saw George sitting on the floor, the group of youngsters was questioned by the police and eventually taken away. He had bruises all over and there was slight bleeding on his left leg.

“Would you need me to call an ambulance for you?” one of the police officers offered but George shook his head.

“George, are you alright?” I was frantic as I looked at George’s injuries.

“I am alright. As long as you are safe, it’s worth it,” George smiled at me as he seemed to be pleased by what he had done.

“You are foolish, you are stupid. Why do you have to come here to look for me? You should know the reason why I would not want to be with you,” I rebuked at George even though I was holding his arm looking at how badly he was.
“I did not want that to happen. I agreed I was playful last time. You have lost your best friend, I have lost my wife. But that’s the past. When Karen lost her life, I have changed a new leaf. I want to be with you, only you. You are not her substitute. You are you. She is she. You two are different people,” George’s eyes were wet with tears as he grabbed my hand.

“Sorry George. Let’s end it here. Go back to Taiwan. If you force me to go back to Taiwan, you can have my body, my soul but you can never have my heart,” I did not even look at him and my voice quavered although I wanted to stay calm.

He let go of my hand slowly, his hand which held mine was trembling. I got up and left. Belinda did not know what to say as she was behind me all the time.

“I think you really mean a lot to him. Why don’t you give him a second chance?” Belinda said.

I did not bother to answer Belinda. I just walked on and I did not even want to talk to Belinda even upon reaching home.


I held my tears back as much as possible as I rushed to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it. Torrents of tears fell. As they hit the sink, I could hear the inaudible sound of the teardrops making their impact on it. I do love George after all. Even when he wanted to be my companion, I had fallen in love with him. I could not admit it to him. I did not have the guts to do so. He did make mistakes in his life which let me down but he had paid a dear price for it. A second chance is what I wished I could give, but by doing so, I am letting down Karen. She died for nothing. She hoped that she could find happiness but in the end fell to a bottomless pit of misery. At least she would not be able to express it out, I was not able to express out in words for her, for myself.

“Mr. Fang, I want to go to another country to work. I just want to leave here as fast as possible,” I called Mr. Fang upon waking up not long.

“There is a new club which opened about a month but it is in Tokyo. The boss is in need for more Taiwanese dancers there. Even though you only need to perform there, I believe that you might need to do more than just performing in there. It’s not a flower joint like that of your present work place, but you can earn a lot more in there. You can try out for a month or two. If you do not like the environment, you are always welcome to come back to Singapore,” Mr. Fang’s suggestion isn’t a bad one which was worth considering.

George and Alex did not come up immediately in my mind. It was my mother. Although I wanted her to come along, we do not have any relatives there. I would need to discuss with her.

“You are leaving, don’t leave Vanessa. I really enjoyed working with you,” Kelly seemed to appear from nowhere.

“There are some scores that I want to settle with you. You scheming woman, you used Carol’s phone to take videos of me and Belinda. I knew it quite a long time ago, just that I do not want to tell you. So don’t act like you are concern for me when you want to get rid of me,” I confronted her.

“Fine, I admit I did all these. Why? Because you always been stealing the limelight. Ever since you came, my popularity went down,” Kelly admitted at last.

“I wish I could give you a tight slap for your disgusting actions, but you are not worth that slap,” I stormed out of the room not even wanting to face her when I said that statement.


“Hi, aunt. I come to see mother,” I returned the smile as my aunt was delighted when she saw me.

“Mother, I would like to go to Japan to work. The pay is much better there, but I would like to know what is your viewpoint,” I held her hand as we sat next to each other on the sofa.

“Ah Ling, you are old enough to make decisions for yourself. Do not worry about me. Your aunt can keep me company. I am getting used to staying with her. Go to Japan on your own, I just want you to call me back every now and then so that I would know that you are doing well there,” my mother’s comments gave me mixed feelings.

“But we would miss each other. Sometimes I really cannot bear to just put you here with aunt,” I confessed to my worries but was quickly waved away by my mother.

“Just go, my child. I would be fine in here. I am getting used to the life in here. If I go to Japan, I would have to adapt to a different lifestyle. I am old already, I do not want to move around too much,” her assurance put me more at ease.

As days passed, Mr. Fang cracked the good news to me. I can go to Japan in a week’s time. That move was a big surprise not only to Belinda and Carol but to everybody. Even though most people persuaded me to stay, I stood firm on my decision to leave.
It was a Wednesday night just four days before I leave. I was in a happy mood as a lot of my customers were wishing me good luck before I left. Some felt sad that I was about to leave whereas others felt happy for me as I would gain more exposure in a foreign country which was much closer to home.

“I heard that you are going to leave soon,” Alex’s few words came when I walked to his table.

“I wanted to tell you, but I did not have the opportunity to do so,” I defended myself, which was the truth.

“When would you come back? I really hope that we can be together. I really miss you a lot,” Alex’s confession moved me a little.

“I understand how you feel, Alex. But I have to go to another country to work. This is arranged by the agent..” I stopped talking as he suddenly grabbed my hand.

“I am not stupid. That man who hang the thousand dollar sash almost everyday at that time was part of the reason why you wanted to leave. On that night, you did not even see me or pretended not to see me in here. When I left, I witnessed him being beaten up by a bunch of gangsters. I saw you with him. You two are closer than it seems. He is not just a customer that you know of. You knew him long time ago,” I did not know that he was so sharp and observant.

“Its ok, Vanessa. Sorry for telling you all these. I wish you all the best and I would cherish the memories that we had together,” Alex continued making me speechless.

“I should not have lied, but I am too used to saying white lies so that customers in here would not ask too much. I hope you do not get offended, really,” I could find any other more suitable words to say at that time.

“I understand,” It was only these two words that he said as he punctuated it with a light pat on my hand.

As the days passed, it was time to go to the land of the rising sun. As my auntie and my mother bade me good bye, I felt a bit sad leaving this country. I had met a lot of nice people in this country and also someone whom was quite special to me although he and I were not together.

“Hi, Vanessa. I am Mr. Yamato. Mr. Fang’s friend,” his fluent words of the Chinese language impressed me.

As he brought me to my room, it was small and which had only a mattress and a pillow, a cupboard and a few other pieces of furniture.

“Vanessa, make yourself comfortable as I would need to give you some instructions. From what I know of, you can speak a little Japanese. I have a guidebook for you to learn more Japanese words. Your stage name would have to be changed to Yumiko. This would be your name when you are working in your new workplace,” Mr. Yamato stood like a woodblock as the instructions rushed out of his mouth.

“Why do I have to change my name?” I was curious.

“Actually, you are supposed to change your name when you came to Singapore from Taiwan. But Mr. Fang allowed you to keep your name because that name is commonly used in Singapore too and it’s a nice name for a Taiwanese gal. This is Japan, so you have to change your name to fit into the local crowd,” Mr. Yamato’s explanation seemed to be logical.

There seemed to be a big boulder of obstacles to work in there. My limited vocabulary of the local language was one of the many stumbling blocks I have. I was relieved that there were Taiwanese dancers in our group too.

“Hi, my stage name is Akako. Jessica is my actual name,” Jessica gave a friendly pose as she shook my hand.

“Hi, my stage name is Miyuki. Gina is my actual name,” Gina’s seductive look was definitely worth a second look.

“My stage name is Yumiko. Vanessa is my actual name,” I introduced myself.

“This place is not a flower joint. It is a place where you can earn extra tips. You just need to be a bit easy with the customer when the customer wants you to sit beside him. I have worked here for two weeks. The range of tips normally would be twenty to thirty thousand yen per night!” Gina gave me more details of the workplace.

I counted in my head. It was about more than four hundred Singapore dollars. My basic pay is double that of in Singapore too. I was thinking that I have really made the right choice.

“I think your figure is very good too like mine. Use your body to earn more money. The Japanese people seem to like Taiwanese girls, especially when their complexion is fair. There are quite a number of tall Japanese men who frequent this club too. I have tried some of them in bed and I can get at least an additional forty thousand yen for spending the entire night with them,” Gina whispered in my ear as if afraid to let Jessica hear.

My excitement seemed to be doused down by the words that she whispered into my ears. It is no different from prostitution. It was something which I did not want to do. I guessed I would have to play the rules of the games very carefully.

As we performed on the stage, we had number tags on our dance attires. At first I was not used to it as some customers are very touchy. Although I had offers to spend the night with them, I refused flatly. Instead, I offered to have meals with them sometimes. In the night, they would offer me extra tips for the number of hours that I accompany them earlier on those days. Although I was tempted at times as some of the customers are very handsome and well-built, I was firm on my stand. I was not treated with disrespect for refusing their offer.

It was almost a year. I did not even have the intention to go back to Singapore anymore as yet. Although I missed my mother, I knew that I had to stay on for a little more while before I came back to Singapore.

As I was walking on the street in the afternoon on the way to meet a customer, a familiar voice caught my attention.

“Vanessa, it’s so coincidental to see you here. I am on holiday here. I guess you must be working here,” the voice belonged to Alex as he gave a light tap on my shoulder.

“I think you called the wrong person. I do not know you,” I spoke in broken Japanese as I tried to avoid him as I walked faster past him.

“You are Vanessa, I have no doubt about that. I may not understand what you are talking about but why are you ignoring me?” Alex caught my arm as he took a closer look at me.

“My name is Yumiko, not Vanessa. Sorry, I said again I do not know who you are. Please get your hands off me,” I raised my voice as I deliberately spoke to him in Chinese in a weird accent. My ice-cold look gave him a rude shock.
“Ok, Sorry that I have mistaken you for the wrong person. Yumiko, I find you very attractive. I know you are Taiwanese and can speak Chinese. Can I know you?” Alex seemed to be half-sarcastic, half-serious about trying to know me.

I smiled at him briefly, turned my head around as I walked away without saying a word.

“No matter what, whether you are Vanessa or Yumiko. I hope to see you soon in Singapore,” Alex shouted as I walked as fast as I could away from him.

I really wanted to acknowledge him, but I knew that the time was not right. This was not the place to do so. It may seem nonsensical, illogical but I was too immersed into my new identity, my new role, my new status in this foreign country. I did not want anything involving my past identity to distract me. I did not know whether it did to begin with.

As I knew that he was out of sight, I started to walk slower. As I glanced across to my right, I saw the faint scar on my right arm. The cut that was made moments before Karen committed suicide. I looked down not in despair for losing Karen but in wonder to what’s in store next in my life. What landed on the floor was not Karen, but my past identity which went past me as I walked. A chilly breeze did not howl cries into my ears but caressed my face. I had no tears for the breeze to blow them back. A sigh came silently through my mouth. As I looked up to the sky, I knew that a special someone would also be looking at the same sky and I had an intuition that I would meet this person very soon……

I may have many stage names, but yet I was a girl who did not have an identity of her own, did not have a name which I could freely bring along anywhere I go. Every new name, a new role in the workplace encompasses a totally different identity that one would eventually fit in and one might forget about the previous identity. I was just an ordinary gal, another gal just like the other dancers who not only work in Japan but also in Malaysia and Singapore etc. A girl with no name.

-the end-
Thank you for all your support and comments. I hope to have an inspiration to write another story soon.

A girl with no name 无名女郎 (part 11)

Hi everybody. Its been 8 years since I last written such scenes to such an extent from a woman's point of view. One of my readers was asking me whether can quickly post part 11. Well, I kinda of written part 11 partially when I posted up part 10 so thats why I needed a day to finish up part 11 and post it up. Some of my readers expressed their feelings in terms of their point of view. (e.g. female readers would read it from a woman's point of view.) I kinda felt the whole process in both the man's and woman's point of view. Its really very magical looking at both ends. Without further delay,...

The bedroom scene of the story starts to get a little hotter.....


“Pull it,” my lips moved as my voice box did not make a single sound. The silence was so deafening that even the low-pitched humming of the air conditioner could be heard.
His hands were slightly trembling as he slowly pulled it, as the top coat became to slip down my body. I closed my eyes and I enjoyed the sensation as I felt the fabric sliding down my arms.

I felt very sensual as my bare self was slowly presented in front of Alex. I could feel that his fingers were trembling as the knot was untied with jerks in between. I straightened my arms as I arched my back a little allowing the fabric to slide through without stopping. My pulse quickened and my breathing started to become heavier. I did not know why I had shed all inhibition in front of him. As my top coat fell silently onto the bed, I did not want to open my eyes. I wanted to be held in suspense to what was going to happen next. His hands touched my thighs as they went up to my waist. His fingers slid up smoothly as I shivered a little with nervousness. Then suddenly he grabbed my waist as he pulled me to lie down on top of him. In a split moment, he held my head and his lips were on mine. As our tongues engaged each other, I could feel his passion growing with every kiss. We were so deep into each other that I fell deeper in love with this man.

As his hands went up from my buttocks to my boobs, his light caresses became more intense. The lust in him went up a notch or two as I blew lightly into his ear and nibbled his ear lopes alternating from the left to the right ear. As my eyes roved around him, his hands were gripping onto the bed sheets as if in readiness to just spring up and dominate me. As I slid up on him, I rubbed myself onto him. As he used his body weight, he slowly sat up a little with my body leaning against him. As I held onto his t-shirt, I did not know what to do. I felt confused, I did not know what to do at that moment, but yet, I wanted something. I could not spell it out in my mind. I wanted him to spell it out for me.

As I let go of his shirt, I danced a little in front of him as I gave him the cheekiest smile that I could to him. In a flash, he removed his t-shirt as he grabbed my face and kissed my lips. As my lips were about to catch his, he held me up by my waist and kissed my neck. I could feel the slow concoction of lust and love coming together in his kisses and touches. As he slowly spelled out his desires on me, I reciprocated back as I was touching his bare body all over. Unlike George where he gave me a sense of security, Alex was different. He turned on my wild side, something which I really wanted that George could not, but I had to throw that man’s image out of my sight. I wanted to go along with the momentum. As my hands grabbed his shorts and pulled them off, I hissed a little like a tigress wanting to capture her prey.

“Don’t move,” my voice suddenly turned low as I pushed him playfully down making him lie on his back on the bed.

As I positioned myself on top of him, I slowly allowed myself to be penetrated by him. I felt that I was floating in the air as I did not know whether it was a painful pleasure or a pleasurable pain. It was a very long time since I had made love to a man. As he put his strong hands on my waist, I wanted to control the rhythm but eventually I gave in to him. I felt more and more aroused as the wetness in there grew. The lust in me seemed to have lighted up in me like a flick of a switch to turn on a lamp where he seemed to be groping in the dark for that switch. As I turned my head a little and tossed my hair around to one side, I bend forward as far as possible to give soft kisses on as many parts of him as I could reach. As he let out soft moans at specific areas to where I kissed, I gave a little more attention and not to over pamper him.

It was just raw sex that we were enjoying. Nothing separated us in any way. We did not say anything. We had a common understanding where our bodies communicated with each other and not the sound coming out from our voice boxes.

As he held my waist and let me lie on the bed, he took a condom from the drawer.

“I trust you, Alex, don’t ask me why. I just want it the way it is,” I pushed his hand away making him drop the condom.

As I felt his penetration in me, I hugged him gently. The slow thrusts in me were just the right pace. Each thrust in me made me close my eyes momentarily as my moans grew louder and deeper. The heat emitting from his body and his warm skin on mine was electrifying as if it is soothing but yet paralyzing my nerve system. As I held his bottom, I tried to control his thrusts in me, alternating between a faster slow and a slower slow. My head turned to the left and right repeatedly as the moans came in synchrony with every turn.

“I can control and I would take out just in time,” Alex assured me as he broke free of my warm embrace.

It was just pure satisfaction of each other’s lust as his thrusts were deeper and faster. I could not help but almost screamed as I grabbed whole of his waist wanting him deeper in me. My nails almost went into his flesh.

“I am going to…..” he shouted in between his panting for breath as I felt his contraction building up.

I knew what was going to happen next. Seconds before he reached his peak, I used all my strength to press hold of his bottom on me not wanting him to take it out. He tried to break free of my grasp but I held him in the same position knowing that he would give in soon to be my demand which seemed to overrule his assurance.

“I want that as well in me…” my lips moved without making a single sound as we made eye contact. I bit my lip a little as my chuckles projected out a sense of perverse pleasure from my inner self.

As Alex peaked with a big moan, he just let loose and allowed the animal instincts in him to take over him at that split moment as he penetrated me as deep as possible. I could feel the warm fluid in me knowing that he had let it all go.

“Why did you …” his words were interrupted by my lips engaging with his.

After a minute, I broke away and put one finger on my lips hinting to him not to say anymore.

“I need to get dressed and go home. I hope you like this dress,” I put on the under gown as I then took the top coat from the bed and put it on.

“Don’t go, please stay. At least spend the rest of the night in here,” Alex held my hand not wanting to let go.

“It’s not so convenient for me to do that. I would prefer to go home. It’s nearly six in the morning,” my eyes looked at the far right corner of his room where a clock mounted on the wall showed the time.

“Are we like….together?” his question sounded redundant and foolish at that point of time as I let out a playful laughter.

“I would just take a cab home, you looked tired. I believe you need your sleep,” I showed my concern as I looked at his shagged face.

“Please don’t go, I really love you a lot,” Alex admitted as his grasp on my arm became tighter.

“Please don’t insist. I don’t like it. I mean well for you, don’t worry about me. When I get home, I would let you know,” I showed a little displeasure as his grip tightened.

Alex nodded and sent me downstairs. I took the cab and exchanged goodbyes and a quick kiss.

As I opened the door as quietly as possible, the room was pitched black as usual. As I closed the door behind me, I tip-toed to go up to the room as if afraid to be found out from my secret rendezvous. As I went past the toilet, I heard muffling sounds. The door was slightly ajar. As I inched the door, I heard a familiar voice. It sounded like Kelly.

“…Vanessa is still not convinced that Belinda and Carol are not good enough for our team. I have already done my best. I took Carol’s phone to take videos of Vanessa and Belinda. It was very difficult to create an opportunity to make her believe that Carol was the one taking the videos until recently. Vanessa should be taken in that both of them were up to no good. She would not expect that I was the one behind it. After both of you come into our group, I would find another friend and just dump Vanessa aside. I know she has no synergy with the other groups. She snatched the lime light from me the moment she came to Singapore from Taiwan to work. I just cannot stand it….”I was horrified by what Kelly said but I was not angry for I became very disappointed by what she said.

I wanted to confront her but I refrained from doing so. I quietly go to my room and tried to sleep. As I heard footsteps nearing the door, Kelly walked in as I opened my eyes very slightly. She was staring at my direction.

“Hmmm, when did she come in?” her whispers were audible as the surroundings were quiet.

“Vanessa, are you awake?” Kelly nudged me a little but I pretended to sleep ignoring her.

Disappointment was written all over me. I did not know Kelly felt that way all these while. She hid her emotions and feelings very well from me. I did not know that she can do such a thing to me. She wanted to make me get out of the group that I had formed or even out of my workplace? It was not so easy. I still had a big portion of bargaining power with my agent and my boss.

As days passed, the usual routine seemed to getting more and more boring. I gradually tried to be closer towards Belinda and Carol and avoided Kelly discreetly. Although Carol did not feel anything amiss, Belinda seemed to read my body language very well as she expressed her negative feelings and thoughts of Kelly.

It was another busy Friday night. As we went about our usual dance routine, I glanced around. There were a lot of people. I scanned around for familiar faces as I looked from the left to the right. As I was about to look at the right hand side from the stage, I was given a thousand dollar sash as the pop sound from the confetti spray came. As the flower girl pointed to the right hand side from my view, I was shocked to who gave me this sash, but I had to carry on dancing on the stage and to remain composed. Many pair of eyes also looked at his direction.

-the end-

Satisfied with the between Vanessa and Alex? Haha. Who can this mysterious person who gave the $1000 sash to Vanessa be? Watch out for part 12 which is also the last part of the story!